Being a Socially Attractive Nerd
Intelligence is attractive, but it only goes so far. Whether you’re a nerd, someone who cares about a nerd, or maybe just want some advice on being a better person, here are some things you can work on that won’t inherently change your character, but will generally make you a better person who people like to be around.
Be Nice
This includes being considerate, thoughtful and empathetic. This does not include sacrificing your own needs to get the attention of someone else. Help other people when you can, as long as it’s not eating into your own life. Niceness will get you friends, but you’ll need to balance that with some other characteristics.
Be Confident
Knowing what you’re good at is a start. Play to those strengths. Step up when you know how to do something, whether it’s setting up a wireless network or winning trivia night, but show a little humbleness and ask first if someone wants help. If you don’t think you can do something, use your brain to learn how, or have the confidence to call an expert and pay that person to do it.
Network
Having your own friends is important, but talk with other people as well. This helps you practice your social skills, expands your network of contacts, and keeps you aware of other people’s interests. Share your skills when people need them. You might find a new hobby or friend while you’re at it.
Take Pride in Your Appearance
You don’t have to wear Prada but you should pay attention to the condition of your wardrobe and your hygiene. If you want to wear nerdy T-shirts, that’s great because they’re great conversation starters, but make sure they’re clean. Iron your work clothes. Learn about what colors and patterns match and you can dress like a boss. Shower or bathe daily. Brush and floss at least twice a day. Get a haircut at least once a month or keep your hair tidy if you wear it long. Generally, always be the cleanest version of yourself.
Try New Things
If you love hard sci-fi books, keep reading them, but take some time to do something different each week. Listen to a popular band, watch a show or movie that everyone’s been talking about, see what sport is in season and catch up on which teams are on top. There are two benefits in doing this: you’ll be able to have an easy conversation with other people, and you might find something new that you like.
Most Importantly, Realize that Everyone Else is Also a Human
Other people have their favorite hobbies, things that irritate them, and people who are important in their lives. They’re all confident about something, but also worried about something else. Sometimes a person has a problem, but they want to figure it out on their own, so if you’re not sure, ask. No one is flawless. For everyone, talking to strangers probably makes them at least a bit nervous, but they do it anyway because it leads to great things.
