Trans Big Brother: #1
A big brother’s guide to transitioning.
Hello, my little siblings! It’s me, your trans big brother Rowan!
In this series, I’ll be sharing general advice and answering common questions people may have about transitioning. I’ll also be sharing things that I wish I had known before coming out.
My name is Rowan, and I’ve been out as trans masculine for nearly 3 years, and I know it's not always easy. That’s why I’m here writing this, to help those with the problems and questions I had when I was coming out.
Coming out as anything outside of the cisgender, heterosexual norms of society is never easy. Even if the people around you are accepting, it can still be so scary as you never know how people outside of any trusted circle will react. Being open about it can bring even more issues; but you should never let anyone define you, whether you’re gay, trans, or anywhere in between, you deserve to be happy in your own body.
So, here are some answers to some questions you may all have!
How do I know if it’s safe to come out to my family or friends?
Coming out is scary, especially if you don’t know your peers’ views on sexuality and gender identity.
My advice? find out how those closest to you feel about those matters, even if it’s just talking about a pride event coming up and seeing how they react.
If you aren’t sure if your parents will accept you, but you’re still living with them, please only come out if you know it’s safe, don’t put yourself in any potential danger.
If the case is that you can’t come out because you know your family or peers won’t accept you, there are many ways of showing your pride without coming out.
For instance, you could make a bracelet with the colours of your flag and maybe even paint your nails those same colours!
I can’t bind because my family or peers won’t accept me.
There are ways to bind safely without wearing a binder. For example, wearing a sports bra that offers compression works well, and for those of us with larger chests wearing two sports bras (one backwards one normally) can offer more compression.
Things like sports tape also work well for a replacement trans tape.
As always there would be potential questions about wearing two sports bras, but not only will they offer a binding effect for larger chests, but they also offer more support than a normal sports bra normally does for larger chests.
Some companies also offer discreet packaging for binders and package them to seem like a higher-support sports bra!
As always, with binding, don’t wear your binder or binder replacement for more than 8 hours, and if there is any discomfort in your chest or ribs please take a break from binding or find other ways that work for you; and as always, please never do exercise in any sort of binder…
