Trans Big Brother Tips #2: Advice for the Journey!
There is no one way to be trans!
There is no one thing that makes you trans. There is no one set haircut or style of clothing. If you don’t want to bind your chest or tuck, or even present in any way that isn’t comfortable for you, then you don’t have to.
Being trans is about being comfortable in your body, it’s about being your true self!
There is no one size fits all to being trans. For example, if you identify as male but still want to have long hair, do it. You being comfortable and confident in who you are is what makes you really you!
I know it’s hard to medically start your transition right now, especially with all these new laws being passed and long wait lists. However, not being able to medically transition doesn’t make you any less trans.
So what advice will I be giving you all today? If wearing/doing something makes you feel more comfortable and causes you to feel genuinely happy, then go ahead! And if you can get even the slightest bit of gender euphoria, then that's an added bonus! Own it!
Now, I’m not going to lie to you all and say being trans is a walk in the park because it’s most certainly not. Whether it’s because of people's loudmouthed and uneducated opinions or the current slew of transphobic legislation being passed across the globe. It’s hard and getting harder by the day. That’s just an unfortunate fact.
But that shouldn’t make you ashamed to be who you are. Nothing will change that part of you, nothing will ever be able to erase your identity as long as you don’t let the world make you hide your true self completely.
Even if the only place you feel safe to be yourself is in the safety of your own bedroom, you should always try to find a space in which you can express yourself.
Also, I want to quickly state another fact about the early stages of transitioning…
Listen, I want you all to know that I understand it can be hard while transitioning if you have a more feminine face when you want more masculine cheekbones. Or perhaps you want more “masculine” cheekbones but also want a more soft-lined face and vice versa…
So look, take it from me: No matter how you look, if you can find a way that works for you, whether that is through the use of makeup or anything else that helps give you that small piece of euphoria, then it will go a long way towards achieving self-acceptance.
In fact, when I bought my first binder I cried. I had never felt so comfortable in my own body before…
I know that so many other trans people like myself feel or have felt that same weight being lifted from their chest when they see themselves with a flatter figure. It’s just liberating.
Oh! And just before you leave for today, care to lend me your ear for just a short moment?
So, I am well aware that a lot of my writing has been focused more on the trans masculine side of things as I am still looking into things that will help my trans feminine siblings.
So that is why today I want to give all my trans femme peeps some advice! And that is that you don’t have to tuck to look more feminine…
Wearing things like dresses and skirts can really do just as well with helping with that horrible dysphoria, as you normally can’t see a bulge when wearing these things.
Shaving can also help too! But if you’re going to shave, please be very careful. To get a smooth shave I personally recommend scrubbing with a gentle exfoliant (be cautious when using an exfoliant with any seed casings. I always recommend a gentle sugar scrub) and then moisturise afterwards.
And finally, don’t worry if you’re not too great at doing makeup at first. Makeup can be very hard to get the hang of when you first start out. But there are plenty of helpful YouTube tutorials to assist you.
Just remember that makeup isn’t a distinct art, it comes easier to some than others, but it does still take practice.
