Faithful Fridays: A lesson from the Dutch
Today’s Good Friday, and this time we’re writing a post together in the same location! We started off the day by baking chocolate chip pancakes for the whole family, and then we went to church to remember Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Now that we’re heading into marriage in just over a month, it’s really important for us to keep our eyes fixed on the cross and remember the roles we will soon play in each other’s lives. Paul explains in Ephesians 5 that marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church, and that we ought to make sacrifices for each other just as Jesus sacrificed everything for us. So in order to do that, we need to prioritize a relationship with God over everything else. First and foremost, we need to be faithful to him.
This time of year also really reminds of the wonderful gift that Jesus has given to us through his suffering on the cross. It’s a time when we focus on new life. Last time this year, my Opa had recently passed away, and it’s so beautiful to know that he’s alive in heaven right now, with no pain and no suffering. I learned a lot from watching my Oma and Opa during the last year of his life. In fact, there’s a Dutch word that holds a lot of special meaning for me — trouw.
Trouw is a noun that means faithfulness, loyalty, or devotion. It’s the word used in the classic hymn “Great is Thy Faithfulness.” Oma’s faithfulness to God and to my Opa has always been evident in her life, but even more so when times became difficult. When he could no longer do everything that he used to, she cared for him tenderly and lovingly. In the hospital, she fed him, brushed his teeth, held his hand, and sang to him as time slipped away. Witnessing their commitment to each other made me understand that love is an action, not just a feeling.
But trouw also has a deeper meaning. The same word is used to mean marriage. In fact, it shares a common root word with the English word troth, which is an archaic word for marriage. There’s also a verb form, trouwen, which is used in proposals: “Wil je met me trouwen?” (Will you marry me?)
How beautiful is that? In Dutch, faithfulness and marriage are one and the same. They cannot be separated. This means that faith in God must be the number one priority, and after that, your spouse has to be your number one. Faithfulness isn’t just a lack of adultery; it goes way deeper than that. You must value your spouse above all others — the two of you are joined in a covenant under God, and the marriage relationship has to remain the most important relationship you will ever have with another human being. This means they are the first one you tell when you receive good news (or bad news). If there are relationship problems or concerns, you communicate with them first, not to a friend, parent, coworker, or anyone else. You cannot gossip or complain about your spouse to other people — you both should have confidence that your problems lie between the two of you, and if needed, a pastor or counsellor. And obviously, married people cannot do anything that would have even a hint of infidelity.
Furthermore, this faithfulness is displayed in Ephesians 5. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” It is the role of both the husband and the wife in marriage to help sanctify each other and present each other spotless to Christ. We must accomplish this by encouraging each other in the faith and striving to become more like Christ every day — through our words and actions. Our love should be unconditional and sacrificial, imitating Christ’s far greater sacrifice for us. We ought to place the other person’s needs, concerns, and troubles above our own. I could clearly see this in the relationship between my grandparents, and it’s something that inspires both of us to build a marriage that will last and leave a legacy.
In conclusion, the Easter season has something to teach all of us each and every year, no matter what stage of life we are in. Pay attention to where God is leading you, and rely on the advice and example of older Christians in your life who have a great deal of wisdom and experience. We’re so happy to spend this holiday together and celebrate new life in Christ and the beginning of a new life together!
