Faithful Fridays: How does life change when you get engaged?
Justin and I are starting this new thing where we write articles together on Fridays. So, welcome to Faithful Fridays! We’re basically going to discuss our faith, alongside other interesting stuff like relationships, engagement, and marriage. We’re not experts by any means, but we love writing together and want to share our honest perspectives as we get closer towards marriage.
We both noticed some major changes in our lives and in our relationship after we got engaged. We had talked about getting engaged quite a bit beforehand, but we weren’t able to imagine all the rippling effects of that decision. First of all, other people became way more involved in our relationship. Prior to getting engaged, it was like we were in our own little world. Dating was nonchalant and nobody really seemed to bat an eye (even though Justin happened to meet my family on our second date). But when we announced our plans to get married (after only six months), the initial reaction was shock. Friends and family expressed some concerns whereas before they had been silent. Of course, it was all because they love us and care about us, but it was definitely a surprise to us! The fact that we’ve been in a long distance relationship further complicated the situation, because my family didn’t know Justin very well.
The unexpected reactions tested our communication skills in our relationship and we came out better on the other side of it. Furthermore, we received lots of valuable advice from people we love and trust. We also went through many sessions of premarital counselling with my pastor and his pastor, which we found to be indispensable. (We definitely recommend this step!) We know that we’re young, still in school, and don’t have a lot of money, so those factors make our situation a bit more difficult, but with the support of our loved ones and a commitment to God, we can be a great team!
Another big change was that we both got more serious about “adulting.” Justin learned how to drive that summer (living in Victoria meant that he didn’t need a car), and started working during the semester. I completed 100 volunteer hours, applied for an academic program, and recently got a second job. Now I work in the mornings, often starting at 7 AM, and my evening job ends at 7:30 PM. I am absolutely not a morning person, but both of us are learning how to work our butts off, which is a pretty important life skill.
I started wearing a ring, of course, which was more of a minor change. But I still have to make sure to keep it safe and clean. I can’t wear it as often anymore because my second job is in a warehouse. On those days I wear a fake ring that I’ve had since I was a kid (because Claire’s doesn’t have any rings tiny enough to fit my finger!)
Basically, getting engaged changes the relationship a lot because it becomes less about fun and getting to know each other, and more about hard work and building a future together. However, it’s worth the trade, because commitment takes hard work but it’s so much more rewarding!
