Faithful Fridays: How to plan a wedding without going insane
It’s officially May, so we’re getting married this month! From what I’ve heard, this is supposed to be the time where your stress levels go through the roof. There are definitely a lot of details that still need to get ironed out, but so far, I’m feeling fine. I’ve made up my mind to totally enjoy my last month of being engaged. First of all, this has been a really special stage in my life, and secondly, a lot of really awesome and exciting things are coming up soon! I really believe that there’s no need to freak out and lose your mind about wedding planning!
Basically, in order to enjoy the whole process, you need to have the right mindset. This means focusing on the big picture rather than the minute details. Ultimately, even if you forget to light the candles, or if the centrepieces don’t all look exactly the same, or if (God forbid) it rains, you’re still getting married to the person you love. Isn’t that what it’s all about? It was pretty easy for me to have this mindset from the get-go, because I am absolutely not a detail-oriented person!
Nonetheless, weddings tend to be kinda like a black hole that just sucks you in. The more work you put in, the more work it seems to require. So you can’t just be easygoing, you have to be decisive as well. If you’re going back and forth, agonizing over which shoes to wear, at some point you just have to bite the bullet and make a choice. Of course, this is easier said than done! (I still haven’t 100% decided on a hairstylist and makeup artist yet, so who am I to talk?) Again, you have to consider what will matter ten or twenty years from now, and if it won’t matter then, it doesn’t matter a great deal now.
This leads me to my next point — you have to prioritize! Will I regret designing my own invitations and printing them at the university, instead of sending out fancy embossed ones that would just end up in the trash? Nope! Would I regret not having a video of our special day? Probably!! The wedding industry has a way of making you feel like you need to have this perfect, airbrushed day, filled with cutesy accents, glitter, and mimosas. But you really don’t need a three-tier cake. You don’t need a signature cocktail. You don’t need chair covers (to be honest, most of them look cheap, ugly, and dated anyway!) My advice for decor is to buy a bunch of secondhand things that you will, in turn, be able to resell. That way, you can almost break even!
Furthermore, you have to stay pretty organized. Even if you’re a laid-back, big-picture, chilled out bride like me, you have to take notes. Imagine this is a class that you want to do well in. How do you expect to pass if you don’t do any research and don’t write anything down? I have a folder on Google Docs for all my wedding-related files. I have a file for my timeline, my guest list, the cake, the alcohol, the music choices, the hair and makeup, even one for shoes!! (I actually just counted right now and I have 28 files in there!) This makes your life a lot easier because you have access to your docs all the time and you can constantly keep updating them.
Lastly, you should keep a running to-do list and try to knock one or two items off the list every day, if you can. It takes many hours of active planning in order to make sure that things unfold smoothly. I’ve made a lot of phone calls, sent tons of emails, read tons of articles, and had various meetings, fittings, and tastings. I also work two jobs — a morning job and an evening job. So whenever I have a couple free hours in the middle of the day, I use my time wisely. Even if it’s just making a call or updating your guest list, at least you can feel a sense of accomplishment, instead of falling into a pit of despair and anxiety as you face a mountain of tasks.
Let’s face it: wedding planning isn’t easy. But just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean it can’t be fun, exciting, and totally awesome! Engagement is a really exciting phase for every couple and we should remember to live in the moment, instead of worrying about what’s coming up ahead.
“So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:31–34)
