Christmas in Europe

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, but in the midst of all the pernil & coquito we need sit down and open the presents at some point. Santa received over a million letters from people all over the world asking him to bring over that new striker or a new midfielder, or in some cases a whole new manager.

Here‘s a recap of who got what for Christmas

AC Milan — Gift receipt

Go take all that shit that you bought over the summer back to the store.

BVB — A calculator.

From top of the league to 13 points behind in record setting time. The calculator is so you can help me with some quick math. You had 19 points through 8 games, now after 17 games you have 28 points. How?

Everybody - Winter break in the Bundesliga.

We don’t have to watch that disgrace for a month.

Paris Saint Germain - Questions.

Are you going to advance in the Champions league?

Is Neymar leaving soon?

Are you going to bring in another defender?

Will Cavani ever stop scoring?

Bruno Génésio - Recognition.

Doing an amazing job at Lyon bubba.

Malcom - Patience.

Manchester United is coming to save you & you are coming to save us.

meanwhile at Manchester United:

Lingard finally gets some respect.

Juan Mata gets appreciation letter from Scams.

Rashford got permission from his parents to watch his first ever Rated R movie & Lukaku got a lump of coal.

He cried & left the party.

Missed the door on the way out.

Chelsea Fans - Gratitude

You lot don’t appreciate anything.

Tottenham - Humility

You are still “lil bro”

Arsenal fans- Memory

Remember views from the 6? Get used to Thursday’s.

Manchester City Fans - Confidence.

Nobody thinks you guys aren’t good, stop being so insecure.

Liverpool got all of their christmas presents early as you can tell by Klopp’s new teeth.

Zidane - A plan.

• Admit you were wrong
• Apologize to James
• Get your CAM back
• ???
• Profit!

Napoli — Courage

Be the change you want to see in this world & win the league!

Atletico Madrid — A Chance

Diego Costa has been on ice for a while. got bumped to Europa & still alive in CDR, can see them winning one if not both titles.

Barcelona — The Gift of Forgiveness

I didn’t believe in you & I apologize. Signing of the summer in Lil Paul & after a dominant team performance in the 2nd half of El Clasico in their home away from hom, I can see them beating Chelsea & making a deep run in the CL. Messi is leading the league with 15 goals, Suarez looks to have found his form & Dembele is on the way back so it seems all is well but the politics in Catalonia.

Hey Inter Milan, will you forgive me too?

@ArsonESPN