Scared Money Don’t Make No Money; Volume 3
February 3rd & 4th
We’re back. It’s Super Bowl weekend which means the bookies are spending too much time figuring the odds on if Brady will wear a Make America Great Again hat during the parade after the Patriots win or not. Fortunately for us, this means they aren’t spending enough time on the footy lines and we are benefiting with some absolute gimmes because of it.
Schalke 04 at -1/2 (-135) home to Werder Bremen. One of a few American youth’s study abroad locations in Germany, Schalke. No one on Bremen can defend Naldo on set pieces. Nothing else from this match up matters. Three points in a easy 2–0 win.
Saturday, 9:30 AM EST
Villarreal as a Pick Em (-130) away to Real Betis. The Yellow Submarine have won their last four matches and will roll on to their fifth after this fixture. Villarreal win 2–1, book it.
Saturday, 10:15 AM EST
Nice at -1/2 (-115) home to Toulouse. Please don’t ask Tries to pronounce Nice. Somebody free Lafont. My guy has 10 trash cans wearing purple kits in front of him. Well, nine. Free Diop too. Super Mario opens the scoring. Nice win 2–0.
Saturday, 2:00 PM EST
Liverpool at -1/2 (+105) home to Tottenham. Spurs are too stupid to sit back and beat Liverpool the easy way. Salah, Firmino, and A̶f̶r̶i̶c̶a̶n̶ ̶R̶o̶n̶a̶l̶d̶o̶ Senegalese Zardes will catch Spurs on a few counters. We Miss Coutinho FC finds a way to win 3–1.
Sunday, 11:30 AM EST
Lyon as a Pick Em (+115) away to Monaco. Fekir and Mariano aka “One of the two strikers who should be starting over Benzema at Real Madrid but they sold instead” masterclass pending. Depay or Aouar give Lyon a late winner.
Sunday, 3:00 PM EST
GET MONEY, GET PAID.
Visit Bovada to see updated lines.
*The author of this article is not responsible for your decisions. Don’t tell your wife, your kids, Sallie Mae or anyone else to come for me because I didn’t make you do shit.*
