The New Ultras: Intro to Feetball
So you wanna get into soccer? You watched your friends go crazy during the World Cup in 2014 and it caught your eye. This summer, the Copa America and Euros gave you the itch. You want in? Cool.. welcome to the world’s worst kept secret — the brilliance of club soccer. But how do you get into it? SO many clubs.. SO many leagues.. Relegation/Promotion?! Relax unno self. That’s why you’re here right? We got the keys, word to Khaled. This one stop guide will explain to you how European soccer works and even will give you a clue on what team to pledge your allegiance to! The New Ultra’s Intro to Feetball is all you need.
How Club Football works
League set up
Every country in Europe has multiple domestic leagues. Most of the top leagues in Europe are made up of twenty teams (The Bundesliga has 18 top level teams). Each team plays every other team both home and away. Because of the high amount of teams, you’ll often see teams that both reside in the same town (Think Yankees/Mets, Knicks/Nets, Lakers/Clippers). These games are called derbies and they are usually the most lit games of the season. Families are often divided by fandom and winning the derby gives you the right to talk shit and make your family and friend’s lives a living hell until the next match.
Teams are ranked in the table (standings) by the amount of points accumulated during the season. A win nets you three points, a draw/tie will get you one, and an L gets you jack shit but plenty of people making fun of you in your twitter mentions. If two teams are tied, the tiebreaker is goal difference (goals scored — goals given up) therefore, it would behoove you to not get your teeth kicked in too often because unlike other sports blowout losses matter more than a close loss. Whoever ends the season with the most points wins the title.
Still with me? Let’s get deeper in the mix.
Promotion/Relegation
So now you may be wondering if there so many leagues throughout Europe and in every country themselves, who decides what teams play in the top level leagues? The teams actually do. Enter promotion and relegation.
In club soccer, there are different leagues that are ranked in prestige. In most leagues, the top 3 teams at the end of the season are promoted to the higher league than they are currently in and the worst 3 teams in the league are relegated to the lower league for being shit (in Germany the top two teams are guaranteed promotion and the third enters a playoff). This is a completely different phenomenon than American sports, where terrible franchises are allowed to stink up the joint with no end in sight or repercussions. If American sports were set up like European soccer, the Cleveland Browns would be a Pop Warner team in Ohio instead of an NFL squad.
This adds to the excitement and intrigue of the league. Not only do you have a title race at the top, you have a fight to avoid relegation at the bottom. Relegation from the top domestic league locks you out from the lucrative TV money and prevents you from participating in the most prestigious competitions or signing the best players, so staying in the league for a non-juggernaut club is arguably as big as winning the title.
Domestic Tournaments
Domestic tournaments occur in European football in conjunction with league play and continental play (for some). Most clubs have no chance to win the title in all honesty. The power of top clubs with their revenue and ability to attract top talent makes it damn near impossible to win the league if you don’t have those assets (unless you’re the Tinkerman.. Shout out to #LesterCity). However, domestic tournaments give these also-rans a chance to lift some silverware.
Domestic tournaments pit all the clubs within a country against each other in a winner-moves on type competition (Think March Madness if every NBA, NCAA, AAU, and high school team competed). Everything comes down one match and anything can happen. Because of league play and continental play, big teams often have to cycle players. The best teams often play at least 2 or 3 matches a week because of all the competitions they’re active in. Catch a big team while they’re shuffling personnel and you could have a giant-killing on your hands. Everybody can get got, b. As proof, look below at some of the most famous examples of David getting Goliath the fuck up outta here.
Continental Competition
Who’s better between the champions of England and France? The German champs would definitely wash Spain’s big teams right? Well in club football, there ain’t no need for barbershop talk, there are continental competitions. Europe’s best teams from league play are included into one of two competitions — the Europa League (traditionally for the good, not great) and the Champions League (the cream of the crop). Winning this competition makes you the greatest team in world football (at least for a year). The CL is notoriously hard to win. In fact, no team has ever been able to win back to back CL titles.
Every country is allotted a specific number of slots in each tourney due to the coefficient (fancy formula used by UEFA — European football’s governing body to decide which country has the best teams based on previous EL/CL results). The EL/CL are set up similar to the World Cup/Euro’s/Copa. There is a group stage in which every team plays each other with the same point/goal difference tiebreaker set up as the regular season from which the top 2 teams in each group advance, followed by home and away knockout stages. The knockout stage contains a controversial little wrinkle called the away goal rule. In the knockout, both games goals are tallied and if the total amount of goals is tied, the team who scored the most away goals would advance to the next round. For example, if Arsenal tied Barcelona 1–1 at home and also tied 2–2 away, Arsenal would move on to the next round because they scored more goals away from home (this is would obviously never happen). This rule puts pressure on teams especially in the second leg while chasing a game because they may need an extra goal because of the away goal rule and adds to the drama.
Transfers
Ahhh… the famed transfer market. Player transactions work a bit differently in club football compared to American sports. You hardly ever see player trades and there are no draft picks because there’s no draft. So how do teams get their talent? Either through their academy (Teenage and youth players that each club raises and trains) or through the transfer market. There are transfer windows (times during the year when players can find new teams): the summer window (June 1 — August 31) and the winter or January window (Jan 1 — Jan 31). Traditionally, the summer window is when you find most of your players and the January window is reserved for squad depth.
During these windows, players can either be bought, sold, or loaned. Instead of trading assets (players, draft picks), teams literally pay money for the rights to a player. This buying and selling of players from one club to another is the basis of the transfer market. This transfer price is totally separate from the new contract that the new club will pay the player as a wage. The transfer price paid is based on a number of different factors: skill level, age, length left on a contract (if a player has one year left on a deal, a club may sell now for a cheap rate rather than let him leave as a free agent), and position. Traditionally, attacking players tend to be the most expensive followed by defenders, midfielders, and goalies.
Sometimes players have what’s called a release clause on their contract. A release clause is an agreed upon amount that if someone is willing to pay, they can talk directly to the player about signing. That cuts out the negotiation and long talk between clubs on compensation since the money’s already pre set. Think of it as using the “Buy It Now” button on eBay instead of bidding and having some jerk off in Idaho outbid you at the last second leaving you assed out.
Now there’s only 11 players on the field at one time, so playing time is hard to come by. What happens if you got a yute who came from the academy who’s showing real promise, but you just don’t got the game time for him at the moment? You send him on loan. Loans (usually six months or a year in length) mean a player will play for another club to get valuable game time, but then when the loan period is over, they return to the parent club (original club that holds his contract). This is a win-win-win. The parent club gets to hold on to their prized asset without fear of losing him, the yute gets the playing time he needs to develop, the loaner club gets talent that they probably couldn’t afford to buy flat out on the market.
Now… Let’s Pick a Squad!
We got the rules down so now let’s pick a club to support! First things first — supporting more than one club is frowned upon even if they are in different leagues, so making the right choice today will determine a lifetime’s worth of either success or agony. This is probably the biggest decision you’ll have made since Prof. Oak was showing you around Pallet Town. There are a multitude of factors that go into picking what club to support and we’ll go through them all, but first you gotta find a league that suits you and then we’ll point out the teams that fit the criteria.
League Breakdown
EPL: The most famous league in world, the English Premier League has seen a recent infusion of TV money and talent on the pitch and at the managerial level. With big names on and off the pitch, there has never been a more exciting time in the Prem. Known for open play and goalfests, English football has traditionally been pleasing to the eye. All of the major clubs have invested huge money into overhauling their squad with top level talent and the surprise success stories have been ingenious in scouting budding talent. With only 4 Champions League spots and a genuine 7–8 teams with a serious chance to reach those places, it’s going to be a season for the ages.
Where to watch: NBC/NBCSN and affiliate channels
La Liga: Home to some of the most beautiful football on earth, La Liga has been a traditionally top-heavy league, but has seen a recent infusion of talent at the smaller clubs. While Real Madrid and Barcelona continue to dominate headlines, Atletico (quickest way to look like a fraud is to include the “H” that doesn’t exist) has glo’d up in recent years, winning the league and reaching the Champions League final twice in recent years. Also their mid-table clubs may be some of the best in the world. Spanish teams have been showing the fuck out in continental play consistently for most of this decade.
Where to watch: BeIN Sport and Fubo (paid service)
Bundesliga: The German league is home to two of the most exciting teams in world football — giants Bayern Munich and their feeder club Borussia Dortmund. Although they are fierce rivals, there has been a recent trend of great BVB(Dortmund’s nickname) players transferring to Bayern, which only makes the slander even more flagrant between fans. Outside the top two teams, there has been an explosion of talent in the Bundesliga. A ton of today’s stars and future stars can thank the Bundesliga for their development. German football is very systematic. Although not everyone’s cup of tea, the Germans have shown that their style of play win games and stifles opponents.
Where to watch: Fox Sports Network and GolTV
Serie A: Ahh.. the ghost of Serie A.. Where to begin? Italian football was one of the best leagues in the world during the 90’s. The talent dried up.. The money dried up.. And now Serie A is a shell of its former self. The two Milanese clubs have fallen on hard times leaving Juventus to Debo’ing the league in recent years. To put a little perspective on it, Juve got relegated as a punishment for match fixing in 2006.They returned to the top flight the following season and have won the League the last four seasons In 96’ Bulls-esque style. Italian football is known for its tactics and pragmatism (read defense and not much scoring). If you choose this route chances are you’re one nostalgic SOB.. #MakeSerieAGreatAgain
Where to watch: BeIN Sport
Ligue 1: The French league is home to some of the best young talent in the world. Although PSG runs the league similar to Juve’s dominance in Italy, there’s tons of young starlets ready to take over the scene. The style of play is very fast and flashy. Players here are often of the highest technical ability and pull off intricate interplay and score amazing team goals. French clubs have been able to secure and keep top talent like never before so the external talent combined with the young French stars makes Ligue 1 must see TV.
Where to watch: BeIN Sport
Current Elite
This is the cream of the crop. If you’re a front runner and you love instant gratification, these are the teams for you. Enjoy Champions League football and competing for the title year in and year out. Your teams are flush with cash and will be competing for the best managerial and player talent in the world. Essentially you’ll be playing the game on Rookie difficulty.
EPL: Manchester City, Arsenal
La Liga: Real Madrid, Barcelona, Atletico Madrid
Bundesliga: Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund
Serie A: Juventus, Napoli
Ligue 1: PSG, Lyon
On the brink
These are teams trying to make it into the top tier. Either they are former giants who have been knocked off their perch, or plucky upstarts with crazy young talent ready to burst on to the scene. These are the teams to watch not only for now, but for the future.
EPL:Manchester United, Tottenham Hotspurs, West Ham, Everton, Liverpool, Chelsea
La Liga: Sevilla, Villarreal, Celta Vigo
Bundesliga: FC Schalke, Wolfsburg, Hamburg
Serie A: Fiorentina, Lazio
Ligue 1: AS Monaco, Lille, Marseille
Minnows
Here are your “We just happy to be at the big boy table” teams. A lot of these teams were recently promoted, and honestly may have trouble staying up. Here is the magic of football though — you just never know what’s going to happen. Leicester City were relegation bound in 2014 and saved their asses with a magical run of form to stay in the EPL. Next season, they were lifting the trophy as champions of England. Don’t deprive yourself of the joy of a fairy tale ending.. You just never know..
EPL: AFC Bournemouth, Burnley, Hull City, Leicester City
La Liga: Alavés, Leganés, Osasuna
Bundesliga:Darmstadt 98, Ingolstadt, RB Leipzig
Serie A: Crotone, Pescara, Cagliari
Ligue 1: Dijon FCO, Metz, Nancy
History
If you want a team with great history and tradition, here are the teams you should look into supporting. If you want to really dive deep and become one with a club, many of these teams have been around for 100 years or more. There are fans all over the world who sing the songs and wear the kits of footballing royalty.
EPL: Manchester United, Liverpool, Arsenal
La Liga: Real Madrid, Barcelona
Bundesliga: Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund
Serie A: Juventus, AC Milan, Inter
Ligue 1: Nantes, Lyon, Marseille, Monaco, Saint-Etienne, Bordeaux
Star Power
A great way to get into football is to follow the talent. No one likes to watch shit players and a shit team. These teams are LOADED with some of the best players in the world. If you’re a fan of the “super team”, cop a kit of your favorite player and start watching the cream of the crop.
EPL:
Manchester United (Wayne Rooney, Zlatan Ibrahimović, Paul Pogba, David De Gea, Anthony Martial)
Manchester City (Sergio Agüero, Kevin De Bruyne, David Silva, Yaya Toure, Leroy Sané)
Arsenal (Petr Cech, Mesut Özil, Alexis Sanchez)
Chelsea (Diego Costa, Eden Hazard, John Terry, Thibaut Courtois)
La Liga:
Real Madrid (Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema, Gareth Bale, Sergio Ramos)
FC Barcelona (Lionel Messi,Luis Suarez, Neymar)
Atletico Madrid (Antoine Griezmann)
Bundesliga:
Bayern Munich (Robert Lewandowski, David Alaba, Jerome Boateng, Manuel Neuer, Thomas Müller)
Borussia Dortmund (Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Mario Götze, Shinji Kagawa, Christian Pulisic, Marco Reus)
Serie A:
Juventus (Gonzalo Higuain, Paulo Dybala, Miralem Pjanić, Dani Alves, Gianluigi Buffon)
AS Roma (Francesco Totti, Daniele De Rossi, Radja Nainggolan, Edin Džeko)
Napoli (Marek Hamšík, Arkadiusz Milik)
Inter Milan (Mauro Icardi)
Ligue 1:
PSG (Edinson Cavani, Ángel Di Maria, Marco Verratti, Blaise Matuidi, Thiago Silva, David Luiz)
AS Monaco (Falcao, João Moutinho, Ricardo Carvalho)
Lyon (Alexandre Lacazette, Nabil Fekir)
Style of Play
Sometimes it’s not what you do, but HOW you do it that’s important. These teams play some of the most gorgeous football in the world. Silky passing, gorgeous interplay, flair, and beautiful goals is the MO for these clubs. Sit back and fall in love with the Beautiful Game the way it was meant to be played.
EPL: Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool, Watford
La Liga: Barcelona, Real Madrid
Bundesliga: Borussia Dortmund
Serie A: Juventus, Napoli
Ligue 1: PSG
By Any Means Necessary
“You play to win the game!” The GOAT Herm Edwards will forever be a legend for that quote and it applies to all sports, not just NFL football. All the flicks and tricks make great vine compilations, but they don’t add up in the points column. These teams are about winning. If that means parking the bus(sitting deep and playing in a defensive shell) and waiting to hit people with blistering counter attacks, so be it. If that means muddying up the game and winning on by a 1–0 jammy goal (goal that was willed, not skilled into the back of the net), that’s cool too. All these teams want are those three points and they’ll get them by any means necessary.
EPL: Manchester United, Chelsea
La Liga: Atletico Madrid
Bundesliga: Bayern Munich
Serie A: AC Milan, Inter
Ligue 1: Lille
Conclusion
We at The New Ultras hope that this piece was a great primer to the world of club football. Don’t forget the New Ultras podcast is the #1 source for your footy information so subscribe on iTunes to keep up to date with the latest knowledge. Feel free to @ us on twitter (@thenewultras) or shoot us an email (thenewultras@gmail.com) with any questions! Good luck choosing your team and getting ready for this season!
