Why Work Makes Us Feel Isolated and Alone

A few years ago, I decided to change jobs, primarily because the position I had at that time required a two-hour commute, both in the morning and back at night. My new office, a satellite of the company’s headquarters, was fifteen minutes from my home. It sounded great until I discovered that nobody ever came into the office. The people who worked there were either in sales or field technicians, all of whom were constantly on the road. Occasionally, someone would stop by if they were in the area, but for the most part, it was just me.

At first, being alone wasn’t a problem; I had more than enough work to keep me busy. But over time, not seeing anyone or having anybody to talk with for the entire day began to take a toll. I started to drift and became bored. Eventually, what promised to be a great job turned into a prison that I couldn’t wait to escape by the end of the day. People are by nature social animals. We seek community, need to make connections, and belong. Which is why creating strong bonds and relationships with others is critical not only to our happiness but to our success at work. Yet by this measure, today’s workplace is failing us.

Former U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness in the workplace a national epidemic. In his 2023 advisory on loneliness, Murthy stated that loneliness is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, increasing the risk of heart disease, stroke, and premature death. He emphasized that social connection is a fundamental human need, and its absence in the workplace has profound consequences for mental and physical health.

“Loneliness is not just a personal issue; it’s a public health crisis,” Murthy said. “We need to rebuild the social fabric of our workplaces, schools, and communities to foster meaningful connections.”

The U.K. has taken a proactive approach to addressing loneliness, establishing the world’s first Loneliness Bureau in 2018. The bureau works to combat social isolation through policy initiatives, community programs, and public awareness campaigns. In 2023, the bureau reported that workplace loneliness has surged, with 45% of British workers feeling disconnected from their colleagues. The bureau has called for employers to prioritize social connection by redesigning workspaces, fostering inclusive cultures, and encouraging team-building activities.

To help us feel more in sync with our colleagues and surroundings, many companies utilize personality tests, particularly during the hiring process. The idea is to identify people whose personality matches that of the company’s culture. This, in turn, is supposed to ensure that workers are happy and more productive. According to one estimate, up to 80% of Americans have taken a personality test as part of a job application. The most widely used personality inventory in the world is the Myers-Briggs, with more than 4 million assessments administered each year.

Alone Together
Today’s technologies pervade everything we do to the degree that we increasingly do everything alone.

The workplace is no exception; if anything, it mimics our social interactions outside the office. How many of us have sat at meetings where almost everyone present is continually checking their emails and text messages? Or worse, excusing themselves so they can take another “urgent” call?

Our work arrangements serve us no better. With an increasing number of employees working remotely, the only interactions with their fellow workers are through conference calls or collaborative software. Many people, such as freelancers and contractors, don’t even work for companies. Instead, they’re members of online platforms, searching for and bidding on virtual projects. In an interview conducted with CNBC in 2023, Dr. Karen Sobel Lojeski addressed how distance and technology are key contributors to loneliness at work:

“Dozens of global companies are now recognizing the importance of reversing what I have coined ‘virtual distance’ in the workplace — the detachment that happens when conversations occur through smart devices, and when devices distort context and mediate our relationships. This detachment directly impacts productivity and performance, but by using analytics, virtual distance can properly be measured to identify where it is affecting performance, leadership, morale, job satisfaction, and innovation.”

As of 2023, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reveals that more Americans are working than ever before. The problem is that an increasing number of us are working with strangers, without any shared purpose or connection.

An Absence of Trust

The Toxic Workplace has become a catchall for corporate policies and practices that are detrimental to a company’s employees. Such workplaces can include a lack of diversity and opportunity for advancement, unreasonable work hours, dysfunctional management, and constant harassment. The result can be stress, anger, distrust, sickness, and even death.

The 2023 Work Stress Survey, conducted by the American Psychological Association, reveals that more than 75% of Americans are stressed by their jobs.

With so much stress coming at them from so many corners of the workplace, is it any wonder that people feel isolated and alone? Or that a 2023 LinkedIn Learning report finds that 40% of employees say they have no sense of a career path, with 25% admitting that they feel like they are “on a treadmill going nowhere”? We come to work for something more than a paycheck, and right now, we’re not getting it.

The shift to remote work during the pandemic has also raised concerns about trust between employers and employees. A 2023 Gartner survey found that 48% of managers are concerned about employee productivity in remote settings, while 60% of employees feel they are being micromanaged. This lack of trust has created a vicious cycle, with employees feeling undervalued and employers struggling to adapt to new ways of measuring performance.

The #MeToo movement, which gained momentum in 2017, has also reshaped workplace dynamics. While it has been a powerful force for accountability and justice, it has also placed a damper on social interactions, particularly between men and women. A 2022 Harvard Business Review study found that 60% of male managers now feel uncomfortable mentoring or socializing with female colleagues, fearing accusations of misconduct. This has led to a chilling effect on workplace relationships, further isolating employees and hindering opportunities for collaboration and connection.