by Sarah Stuteville and Eroyn Franklin
It’s no surprise that the latest Seattle culture export is a yoga practicing, media-hacking, anti-racist, non-hierarchical bunch of weirdo do-gooders.
What is surprising is that it’s our football team.
Does football offend you to your very core?
If there was any town in this country that was poised to agree, it’s Seattle. But then the Seahawks got good. Like the best. So what’s a town full of anti-establishment nerds to do? Scurry to find a justification for loving them of course!
The Seahawks actually are pretty anti-establishment and nerdy themselves. Don’t believe us?
- Encourages yoga and meditation for all of his players and promotes safer tackling.
- Made a name for himself by picking passed over players (too small, hearing disability, troublemaker).
- Russell Okung, Seahawks left tackle, says he’s never heard Carroll say a negative thing to a player. Ever.
- As a child of the Vietnam and Watergate era, Carroll the skeptic reportedly questioned a military high up with 9–11 truther conspiracy theories during a private meeting.
- Sherman responded to claims that he acted “like a thug” by schooling America on coded language.
- Known for his outlandish swagger and being from Compton.
- AND being a communications major from Stanford and a huge fan of bow ties (he’s also pointed out that it’s racist to think those characteristics are oxymoronic).
- Made famous around the country for his “Don’t you ever talk about me!” rant against long-standing rival 49ers wide receiver Michael Crabtree after last year’s championship game.
- Sherman is Optimus Prime to Detroit Lion’s wide receiver Calvin Johnson’s Megatron.
- The Robot With a Heart of Gold. This guy simply refuses to lose.
- At 5’10” (and 5/8” thank you very much) he’s the shortest starting quarterback in the NFL — an anomaly for his position.
- Wilson was a third round draft pick back in 2012 (and if you don’t know what that means, take our word for it, it’s bad).
- Also, he visits kids at a Children’s Hospital EVERY WEEK.
- He cried after this year’s Championship game and then made fun of his ugly cry face.
Lynch refuses to play by the rules and gets fined on the regular for:
- Creatively refusing to speak to the media — except when he’s promoting his organization for underserved kids in The Bay Area;
- Trying to wear custom made golden cleats during games;
- Grabbing his balls and saluting;
- And when he runs his famous touchdown runs, Seahawks fans scream so loud we make earthquakes (seriously-it’s a recorded fact).
Which brings us to:
We became famous for building the loudest stadium in the country so the 12th man (or woman or non gender specific person) can distract and befuddle the other teams with our barbaric screaming. The parade after the 2013 Super Bowl was rumored to have outnumbered the population of Seattle!!
And if you still aren’t convinced — if you still think this is all just a thinly veiled excuse well tailored to Seattle hipster-yuppies who can’t believe they’ve fallen so hard for American’s most mainstream pastime — consider this one last fact:
Even when we are the reigning champs, we are the underdog. It’s a football team only Nerd City could love.