How Language Bias Instills Gender Stereotypes in Girls As Young as 5
What we say — and don’t say — to kids can have lasting impacts on their lives
One of the phrases I remember most vividly from childhood is ‘unlady-like.’
Running around and getting your dress dirty? Unlady-like. Climbing a fence just like the boys do? Unlady-like. Speaking or laughing loudly, especially in public? Unlady-like. Not smiling at strangers who told you to smile at them? Unlady-like.
Like many other unruly and curious girls, I was schooled by my parents, grandparents and teachers on what’s ‘unlady-like’ so many times growing up that the phrase remains permanently etched in my mind.
And whenever I do something ‘unlady-like’, a tiny siren still goes off inside my head reminding me to adjust my behaviour. I don’t. I made my peace with being unruly a while ago. (And not long after I punched a boy who bullied me, which adults dismissed as ‘he just does it because he likes you’ nonsense.)
Not all the girls who grow up with rigid gender stereotypes eventually rebel against them, though, which isn’t all that surprising considering how many other elements make up our still heavily gendered world and warn us to be a good girl or else.
