Why Women Pay the Price for Caring for and Understanding Men
On the emotional and hermeneutic labour in romantic relationships and what it can cost us
Although it’s been a few years since I watched The Breakup, the 2006 rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, when I heard it mentioned recently, I immediately remembered just how awful it is.
As the title suggests, it’s a story about a woman and a man deciding to end their relationship after some years together. However, it also accurately shows what often makes women, in particular, want to call a relationship quits: all the labour we have to do when we’re in one.
The scene where Brooke, played by Aniston, complains to her partner Gary, played by Vaughn, that he only got three lemons instead of twelve — which she needs for a family dinner they are supposedly hosting ‘together’ — is forever etched in my mind.
Gary sees no problem with the situation. Brooke is, understandably, frustrated and has to explain the issue to him as if he were six years old.
The conversation that ensues, in which Gary makes up all sorts of excuses as to why he won’t help Brooke with the dinner preparation, is even more painful (and enraging) to watch.
