Valentine’s Day-lemma
Aahh! ‘Valentine’s Day’ or as I would like to call it ‘The Annual Hunger Games’ is almost here. It is that time of the year where the male IQ dips below the normal standard, which frankly is already low. So prepare yourself to bear witness to an event where men voluntarily submit themselves as ‘Tribute’ with the sole aim to get into pants that do not belong to them. Yes, most of our brothers from the engineering squadron will as usual suffer absolute fatality, but their unplanned sacrifice shall not be forgotten at least for a few days.
Let not this ghastly truth deter you from asking the girl, that you have been stalking for over a year, for a date to the least shady place your wallet will permit. You might crash and burn but at least you will know whether you need to intensify your stalking or not (Like seriously man, stop being creepy ). Or she might simply say ‘yes’ and you won’t have to hide her ‘missing’ under-wear beneath your pillow anymore (Dude, like seriously, stop being creepy ).
If you are lacking confidence, well, let me exacerbate it a bit more. You see this man….
He is 53 years old, yet he can steal every girl that you ever loved, and as a bonus he would woo their pets too. In fact he could impress your imaginary girlfriend (who you keep insisting to your friends lives in a different city) without breaking a sweat. You need to up your game man. Like they say there is always room for improvement, a duplex in your case though. So get started.
The thing is you probably look like Shrek. Like him, you may be ugly, unloved, angry and ugly but even with all the odds stacked against him he did win Fiona over by being himself. So keep trying to make yourself better because looking like Ibu Hatela, you ain’t got any chance. If all else fails, remember, there are Plenty of Fish in the sea and Tinder. Some sad drunk girl will definitely swipe right on your stupid mug.
