Don’t be late ever again — unless there’s a real emergency!

How often are you late to a meeting or an appointment?

Did you know that the probability of being late or on time changes significantly if you shift your perspective and focus?

tl;dr:

• Those who focus on external factors and blame situations will almost always be late and feel frustrated.
• Those who focus on what they can control will almost always be on time unless there’s a real emergency.

Let’s take a look at the 2 approaches:

1) The blamer. I focus on what I can’t control.

I have an appointment today at 3pm. It’s in the middle of the day, so I’ll probably get carried away by my morning routine, chores, work, etc..

Oh, look at the time! OMG, I will be late!

I start rushing, running around getting ready, doing various things depending on the type of appointment or meeting I have.

Scenario: Zoom meeting

Oh no! My meeting starts in 5 minutes and I’m still in another call and for some mysterious reason I’m still speaking and asking questions.

Dang, now I need to go to the bathroom, I need to get more water, I’m a couple of minutes late to a Zoom call. I find myself messaging the person, letting them know I’m running late and I remember I didn’t even prepare for the meeting.

Finally, I’m here. Fork it! My mic isn’t working [sigh of frustration] — let’s blame the tech!

Sounds familiar?

Scenario: Commute to an appointment

I’m finally ready! I book an Uber at 2:50pm. The app says the driver will be here in 6 minutes. What the fork?

I’m in the car and it’s 2:58pm. I’m certainly not going to make it on time! I message the people I’m supposed to meet and tell them the driver was late and the traffic is terrible.

I’m biting my nails. I’m looking at my phone, at the traffic, and muttering words of frustration and anger. I’m mad at the driver, the traffic, and mostly myself: if only I ended that call on time; if only I showered last night, my hair looks hideous now; if only, if only, if only…

2) The Planner. I focus on what I can control.

I have an appointment/important meeting today at 3pm. It’s in the middle of the day, so I don’t want to get carried away by my morning routine, chores, work, etc.. So:

• I check how much time I need to be on time (account for traffic and weather if commuting, account for previous calls if meeting online, ask if I need to shower, dry my hair, put on makeup, prepare meeting notes, etc..) I include buffer time.
• I set notifications on my calendar event so I get reminders on time to get ready (and commute if necessary.)
• I end previous calls. I communicate that I have to leave on time/early with the folks I’m meeting with.
• I end other commitments on time. I set timers on any task I’m doing. I don’t just rely on the notifications for the event.
• I make sure I have a checklist of all the items I need to have with me when going on an appointment.

Scenario: Zoom meeting

I just ended my previous call at 2:49.

I take the next 5 minutes to move my action steps to my project management app and close my presentation. I open my notes for the 3PM meeting and do a quick scan, add anything top of mind.

I take the next 5 minutes to check my state of being, get moving, bathroom visit, get more water…

1 minute until the call. I launch Zoom. Check my speaker, mic, and camera. Make sure I look presentable and my background is appropriate. I jump into the meeting link.

Scenario: Commute to an appointment

It’s 2:00pm. My calendar reminds me that I have my appointment at 3pm. I wrap up what I was doing (usually, I wouldn’t schedule/calendar block anything around this time, so I don’t have to wrap up anything.) I start to get ready:

• Quick shower, eye makeup and lips, wear clothes I have already prepared.
• Check the list of what I need to pack with me and pack my bag
• Check the weather. Pack and wear accordingly.
• Check the traffic. Book Uber around 2:30 for a commute of 12 minutes. The app says the driver will be here in 6 minutes. Give them 10 — a red light will probably hold them back somewhere.
• Wait while enjoying the weather (rain or shine) and being present.

I’m in the car and it’s 2:38pm. There’s a bit of traffic, Google Maps says we’ll be at our destination in 16 minutes. It’s a close call, but I’ll be fine.

I sit back and relax and enjoy the road trip, call my mom, or respond to messages until we arrive.

I arrive before the appointment. I even have time to thank the driver and wish them a nice day.

Which of these experiences would we all like to have on a daily basis?

For sure, I want the less frustrating one — the one where I’m present and experiencing each moment, no rush!

I hear you saying: “me too, but…!” And I’ll say you’re right because life is simple, but not easy. We have so many things to do in a day, we can’t keep up. And then I’ll ask you, “what can you control? What can you do, so you don’t have too many things to do in a day? What can you do to reduce frustration and enjoy your day?”

You probably even thought: “did she just give herself an hour to get ready for an appointment?” And I’ll ask you, “would you be fully ready in less time and be on time and have all the needed items with you?” If yes, then do that — plan according to what works for you, the aim is to focus on what you can control.

Share

Now, share with us what other scenarios you believe a shift in perspective can make a huge difference in.

Let us know what strategies would you choose to help reduce frustration and create a better experience for you and others.

Action steps

1. Identify which perspective do you have most of the time?
2. Write down the steps you usually rush through
3. Check if you see a recurring theme. See if you can convert it to a checklist. (ex. meeting preparation task list)
4. Write down the things you usually forget to prepare or bring with you
5. Check if you see a recurring theme. See if you can convert it to a checklist. (ex. a traveling packing list)
6. Keep these checklists where you need them and start using them. Simplify and optimize them as you use them.

Let’s create better experiences for ourselves and others!