How To Network So That It Becomes More Natural And Less Gross.

Yes networking is gross, but you can reframe your approach to this necessary task.

This article was written by featured guest writer Ashlee Christian.

I have a friend from a few jobs ago who is a remarkable networker, when she would tell me how much time she spent actively networking I remember feeling uncomfortable and thinking to myself, IS THIS WHAT ALL SUCCESSFUL ADULTS MUST DO?? The very idea of networking made me feel gross, and for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why that was.

Thankfully though researchers from the University of Toronto got to the bottom of it, and it turns out I am very much not alone. According to their study published in the Administrative Science Quarterly, professional networking can, in fact, make people feel physically dirty.

The researchers of the study sum it up like this,

“Networking in pursuit of professional goals can impinge on an individual’s moral purity — a psychological state that results from viewing the self as clean from a moral standpoint — and thus make an individual feel dirty. We theorize that such feelings of dirtiness decrease the frequency of instrumental networking and, as a result, work performance,”

While it’s good to know that I am not the only one that feels like they need a shower after a long day of business schmoozing, it’s not entirely helpful. There is really no way to get around networking, and in fact you shouldn’t because the same study found that lawyers who networked more claimed more billable hours, and those who were more powerful at their firms reported feeling less gross about networking. So there you have it, creating a strong network begets more professional success.

The very obvious fact is that the more networking you do the more successful you are. Nobody knows that better than freelancers who basically don’t have work if they are not out there pounding pavement and meeting potential clients. As a freelancer, having a strong network is just a part of the game. In fact, I really can’t think of any clients who I work with who I don’t have because I met someone, who told me about someone else, who told someone else about me (which includes at least 5 clients who I met unsurprisingly through my well-connected aforementioned friend).

Regardless of the fact that there’s really no avoiding making relationships with people that ultimately may result in personal or professional gain, there are a few ways to subtly reframe your approach to it so that it becomes much more mutualistic and much less icky:

Pursue relationships and career opportunities that are of genuine interest to you

One of the things that I did for my own mental health over the course of this insane year was to seek out organizations and individuals who were making a real difference and creating a positive social impact. Going after freelance opportunities with organizations that light your fire not only makes you feel better about the work that you’re doing, but chances are the folks you’re working for are going to appreciate having someone passionate about their cause.

Build a network with freelancers who have complementary skills

One of my favorite aspects of the gig economy is that I often connect with rad freelancers who have complementary skills on a client project or through mutual friends. These have been some of the most mutually beneficial connections because now we both know someone who does something other than what we do and can recommend each other for future projects.

Don’t be a businessman, be a business, man

One of the things that always made me feel the grossest when networking or interviewing for jobs was the idea that I was selling myself to someone, instead of selling what it is that I can do. When you’re a freelancer you are not just a cog in the wheel, you’re the whole damn machine, and it can be hard at times to separate the you, from your business. However, the more you can make connections around what you do versus you as an individual, it becomes much more about what your business can do for other folks, versus what others can make happen for you.

Know when to take a break from the hustle

Sometimes building out a network can be downright emotionally and mentally draining. This is especially true for folks who are more introverted. If you are an introvert, any amount of meeting and greeting might be just too much for you, and that’s okay! If you do fall into this camp, know when it’s time to take a break and skip that industry meetup, or figure out other ways to connect with people in smaller, more manageable settings.

What are your approaches to squeaky-clean networking? Share them in the comments!

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