Why Chinese People Don’t Say “Thank You”
The Power of Verbal Gratitude in Asian Households.
My mother and I moved to Canada when I was 10, so I was raised in a culture that not only said thank you after every remotely nice deed, but treated it more like maple syrup and pancakes — mandatory to be paired. Canadians say thank you for everything from being let in to the bathroom at Tim Hortons to being nailed against the glass in hockey.
But every time we visit her mother (my grandmother), or any other distant relative we’ve grown apart from, the words “thank you” never get ushered. If you judge kindness based on verbal affirmation and how often people say thank you, you’d think my family was a bunch of coldhearted narcissists (they’re not, it’s just me). In fact, most transactions in China are done rather asympathetically, driven by market norms clouded by an aura of “face.” These transactions can be classified as rude to outsiders who visit China for the first time but domestically the practice of not saying thank you is marinated deep in cultural roots few outsiders would understand.
The words thank you mean different things in China. In the west, it signals a conclusion of transaction, large or small, personal or material. You say thank you when the Starbucks barista passes you the grande strawberry syrup filled with sugar topped…
