Don’t Compare Someone’s Trauma with Another Person’s Trauma
It’s not a competition. And it’s not helpful.
One thing I’ve found whenever I’ve talked about trauma I’ve endured — such as medical trauma — is that people love to compare your experiences to their own experiences or those of others.
“But it’s not as bad as what happened to me.”
“It could be worse.”
“At least it was only that.”
Those are all phrases that I’ve heard a lot when trying to tell other people about traumas I have experienced, and though I understand that the majority of people are meaning these things in a kind way and trying to reassure me, this is not how it comes across.
For me, those phrases belittle what I am going through.
I feel as though people are judging me for being upset about something — when somebody else has it so much worse.
And yes, people do have it worse — but someone will always have it worse.
You’ll always be able to find someone who has it worse. And pointing this out does not in fact reduce the trauma that the person you are talking to has experienced. It doesn’t take away their pain or their suffering — it just makes them feel bad about speaking up, about trying to share their…
