How to screw up your fantasy football team

Our fantasy football editor proves that anyone is capable of botching a fantasy draft.

Sometimes I like to take pride in the fact that I am the fantasy football editor.

Every year, I manage three teams.

I spend weeks conducting mock drafts from each position, trying to understand how the dominoes will fall on draft day. I tirelessly keep up with Bleacher Report updates and the NFL network, in hopes that I might be able to uncover some hidden fantasy gem.

However, in my very first fantasy football draft of the season, I might as well have thrown that preparation out the window.

All of sudden the draft order was set and the nerves started to kick in — I was picking last.

Of course, I had taken the time to run some mocks from 12, but not many.

Then came the sweat, followed by what I thought was a genuinely fantastic idea:

Zeke is going to slide (because of his pending suspension) so I should just take him with one of my picks and deal him to a friend of mine who loves the Cowboys (his name is Dallas, for reference).

That is when everything went downhill.

I thought, “Hey, I could end up getting two great players for one player that might not even play for 1/3 of the season… where is the harm?”

So, I decided that taking my team saviour from last season, DeMarco Murray, would suffice if I deal Zeke — and boy, was I wrong.

I decided that Zeke was worth Brandin Cooks (who is someone that my trade partner could realistically take with his 2nd round pick) + whoever fell to him in the 4th round.

Well, Cooks ended up being taken one pick before his… and I scrambled.

“Take Hopkins,” I said with a grin on my face (if only to convince my competition that I knew what I was doing). My way too early prediction for this season is that Deshaun Watson will end up starting over Tom Savage — and dominate. With the best defensive unit in football behind him and bona fide weapons around him, he will be poised for a successful season.

As things wound down and his 4th round pick came up, I panicked again.

“Take Olsen,” I said, with far less certainly in my voice than before. Olsen is a great TE, but usually I don’t value the position so high. He just happened to be the best talent on the board at the time, having missed out on the other trade piece that I was hoping to acquire, Drew Brees.

By the end of the draft what I had before me was a complete mess.

I had, without intention, drafted the most experimental team in my life.

QB: Cam Newton

A potential breakout candidate (with the ability to run the football) this actually ended up being one of my good picks. However, after a terrible season for the Panthers in 2016 I am still quite nervous.

RB: DeMarco Murray

Not much to say here. Overall, I am happy with a guy like Murray at 12. I have high hopes for the Titans this season, and I believe that their rushing attack will still be centered around 29.

RB2: Dalvin Cook/Adrian Peterson/CJ Prosise

Yikes. This is where things really got off the rails. I took Cook a little bit earlier than I wanted to (mostly because I was running under the impression that Latavius Murray was still injured), took Peterson in the 7th, making him a low-risk but high-reward player, and I am pretty sure CJ got auto drafted (but he is playing behind Mini Beastmode and Jumbo Feastmode).

WR1: DeSean Jackson/DeAndre Hopkins

Old speedster in new colours and a big play WR with either Tom Savage (who has thrown 0 TD in his career) or DeShaun Watson slinging the pigskin. These two players represent high-risk but high-reward opportunities.

WR2: Terrelle Pryor

Pretty happy with this pick, actually. I think that TP will thrive in a pass-first system with a QB that is going to have to try and make a name for himself this season to solidify a multi-year deal (could even end up being my #1).

TE: Greg Olsen/Martellus Bennett

Again, in my eyes I ended up taking Olsen higher than I would’ve wanted to as a result of the trade, but playing in a league that allows for a TE at the flex position makes having these two rather tasty.

FLEX: Cam Meredith/Marvin Jones

Two breakout candidates, and I finally got to take a Chicago Bear. If neither of these guys goes off, I am going to be hunting the waiver wire like crazy to make up for this one.

Overall, the experience was stressful.

I pride myself on my football knowledge, and especially on my fantasy football knowledge. How I could put together a team filled with misfit toys is beyond me, but I am stuck with them.

At the end of the day, I have been beaten in the championships by a team that was auto drafted and I have also watched teams built by experts sink into the abyss of irrelevancy.

Moral of the story, it’s probably possible that you can draft a better team than me — so go out there and do it.

Aaron Lieberman is a cofounder of The Ocho, as well as our fantasy editor. You can catch him (almost) every week on The Ocho Podcast on Thursday nights with fellow cofounder Riley Nicklaus Evans. Follow Aaron on Twitter at @aliebs93.