A Year of Garbage Movies #25: “Jaws: The Revenge” (1987)

The 4th film in the Jaws Trilogy, “Jaws: The Revenge” completely ignores the existence of “Jaws 3-D”. This would not be so bad, since “Jaws 3-D” was also on this list, but it replaces it with something worse.

At this point the sharks are pissed and have it out for the Brody family specifically. It’s not implied that the shark is related to the ones from the previous films, it’s just mad. And it sets a trap for the youngest son in the Brody family by pushing some wood onto a buoy, then biting off his arm while he’s still in the boat. Not content with this impossible stunt, he then bites off the corner of the boat that Sean is cowering in, tossing him into the water then finishing him off.

Ellen Brody, still played by Lorraine Gray, somehow develops a psychic connection with the shark and begs her older son, a marine biologist, to give up his years of research out in the field because the shark is after him next. Obviously he assumes mom is nuts and they fly down to the Bahamas for some R&R (Research & Relaxation HARHARHAHAR). Unfortunately this shark is equipped with submarine engines and swims from New England to the Bahamas in about 3 days.

Ellen Brody gets wooed by Michael Cane and forgets about the shark until he tries to eat their granddaughter on a banana boat. Entirely too much time and fake Carribean accents later, they end up stabbing the shark with the prow of a boat and calling it a day.