A Year of Garbage Movies #6(ish): “Tees Maar Khan” (2010)
This garbage movie flight was supposed to take me to Turkey but I wound up in India instead.
At the time that I began this craptastical voyage, the #6 slot was occupied by a Turkish film called “Code Name: K.O.Z”, nominally a crime movie about the 2013 Turkey corruption scandal from the perspective of Erdogan, who is the protagonist. It’s basically propaganda. While nothing would have given me greater joy than sitting through the Turkish version of a Dinesh D’Souza film, I could not find a copy of it with English sub-titles, so I’ve had to improvise again. Instead, I looked at the most recent version of the Bottom 100 and grabbed the lowest-ranked movie that I could actually find. This turned out to be #33, “Tees Maar Khan”, a remake of a 1960s Italian film called “After the Fox”.
As such, this is a much better movie than what actually lurks at the abyssal plain of cinema.
The story begins with our hero in utero. His mother watches too many heist movies while pregnant. After a brief dance number with a CGI baby with a pierced eyebrow, we see that Tees Mark Khan has begun stealing jewelry in the maternity ward.
Flash forward to the present day, and we’re briefed by the police on the importance of protecting their national treasures from a pair of Siamese twins. We’re…
