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I recently celebrated my 8th wedding anniversary and I can’t believe it’s been that long since I said “I Do!” Eight years and two kids later, I have grown so much as a woman, wife, and believer. Marriage is a eventful journey full of lessons and most opportunities for growth. Here are 8 of the lessons that I’ve learned, but have yet to master, in 8 years of marriage.

1. Choose your battles wisely. Everything isn’t worth a fight. It’s good to stand firm for what you believe but that doesn’t always work well in marriage because it’s not just about you. Some things just need to ignored for the sake of peace.
2. Remember you’re on the same team. The enemy loves to bring division in marriage because if he can divide, then he can conquer. No matter what the issue is, you must remember that your spouse is not your enemy. You are stronger together.
3. Prioritize your marriage. It’s so easy to get consumed with life that you forget to put your marriage first. Like a tender flower, your marriage needs to be nurtured in order to grow. If you fail to water your marriage with love, kind words, and quality time, it will fail to thrive.
4. Stop comparing your marriage to others. We all have been guilty of this at one time or another. You know, wishing our marriage was more like someone else’s because they “seem” to have it all together. But what you don’t see (and what they may never tell you) is that they have problems too! The perfect marriage does not exist so stop looking for it.
5. Don’t keep secrets. Your spouse should be your confidant and the one person you can expose yourself to fully. Push yourself to be vulnerable even when everything in you wants to put up walls out of fear. There’s a fine line between secrecy and deception and you must not give the enemy a foothold in your marriage. Dare to bare all!
6. Forgive and do it quickly. Forgiveness pleases God but it also frees you. If you hold on to the offenses of your spouse, your heart will eventually grow cold and callused. Where there is the absence of forgiveness, there is also the absence of grace. So, not only do you end up locking your partner out of your heart but you also lock out God’s grace. Forgiveness is the only way to uproot seeds of resentment, anger, and bitterness.
7. Laugh out loud. Marriage can be tough and sometimes the only way to maintain your sanity is to laugh. Laugh with your spouse. Laugh at your spouse. Laugh at yourself. Laughter can be medicinal so as you laugh, you’re healing yourself and your marriage as well. Allow the joy of the Lord to be your strength.
8. Try to always speak life. Whether you’re speaking to your spouse or speaking about your marriage, speak life! Let your words bring edification, illumination, and hope. You have the power of life and death in your mouth. What you speak will ultimately become your reality.

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