To me, there’s an important distinction between ‘mindfulness’ and ‘awareness.’ Whether correct or not, there’s a specific partition in my mind, separating the two. ‘Mindfulness’ is a gentle practice; moving away from hatred and greed. I think of tranquility, serenity. I read blogs on “mindfulness” and they are always very nice, optimistic and sensitive. I like these articles, in the same way I love to look at photos of newborn babies, kittens, or puppies. They make me smile and then I move on.

On the other hand, ‘Awareness’ has a very different implication. Awareness bares down on me and is often painful. Awareness does not give off warm fuzzies, it emanates power, it’s the lion of the jungle. It’s ready to do battle at the drop of a hat against its arch nemesis, fear. Awareness is about training, awareness is about discipline, awareness is about will power. Like honor, awareness is gained and lost in every action we commit.

For those who know me, I am not the most sensitive new age guy you will ever meet. I believe positive outcomes in life are born from discipline, courage, persistence, creativity and the power of your will. These traits are never automatic, they’re gained through failure, suffering and pain. Wisdom is the product of actually learning from these experiences. I wish I could tell you success was your best teacher, but it’s abundantly clear your greatest periods of growth will occur on the heels of loss and pain.

A lot of this comes from training the mind in the same way you train the body. There needs to be a yin and yang to it; you break down your muscles through hard work. You beat them up, then let them recover. Then, in the muscle recovery–during the time when you’re being gentle toward your body–that is when you grow stronger. But you need both, because if you’re only gentle, you get soft. If you’re only hard, you’ll wind up injured and weak. It’s the same with your brain, and true awareness: there’s no getting off the hook, you have to do the work.

I don’t make the rules, these are simple facts. Success tends to breed complacency on it’s journey toward comfort. Marvin Hagler used to say, “It’s hard to get up and run at five AM when you’re sleeping in silk sheets.”

Mindfulness is telling your child, “Honey, don’t forget your jacket, it’s cold out.” Awareness comes from forgetting your jacket, freezing and learning mother nature doesn’t care if you’re cold or not. At that point, your 6 year-old will learn very quickly to remember their jacket.

My thought today is: in mindfulness articles you’ll often read that you should be easy on yourself, love and forgive yourself for old transgressions or poor decisions. I wholeheartedly believe in this as well: for the most part be kind to yourself… For the most part. Because I also feel that on your way toward positive life changes that it’s not OK to simply shrug off bad choices. Again: pain is our greatest teacher.

How else can we develop awareness, if we don’t reflect with intensity and focus upon our decisions? This comes from asking ourselves very pointed questions: “Did my decision expand happiness, not just for myself but for everyone involved?” You have to be committed to a life of awareness. Your ability to make good decisions, in support of your highest potential are dependent upon this. I would think that we should all take our awareness training that seriously. It gets to the whole theory that 99% is difficult, 100% is easy.

Personally, I have gone back to taking walks. Short 5-15 minute walks, to really give thanks, appreciation, gratitude for all the abundance in my life. This is important ‘mindful’ stuff. It makes me feel really nice. However, I also include awareness training, reflecting on times I was unkind to others… Times I ignored people in need, or shrugged off helping others because I was tired, lazy, or selfish. I think back to grade school when I didn’t say hello to the new kid, when I laughed at the kid being made fun of, when I said mean things to family members, girlfriends, or telemarketers. I let that pain marinate and seep into my being. I feel it hurt me and I try to experience how I made others feel. Like Henry Rollins says “When someone rubs poop in your face, don’t be so quick to wash the smell away.” I take my walk and in some ways eat my crap sandwich of shame. I learn and let the pain take a hold of me and vow to do better. That’s awareness training. It hurts, it doesn’t ignore what is, and doesn’t repress the good or the bad. It is about absolute honesty with yourself. Let’s face it, like all struggles it’s internal. Even if you’re programmed to keep your best face on display for the public, your subconscious doesn’t really care; it knows your dark secrets. It’s you vs. you, and through awareness we drive away the darkness, and that darkness is fear.

I think of my ego like my big old english bulldog, who’s 80 pounds of pure muscle. If I’m training him, and give an inch toward establishing dominance, he’ll get Alpha on me. I don’t treat him like a person: he’s a pack animal. He needs to know his place in our household and that place is Omega, not Alpha. He needs to be kept on a short leash. The same holds true for your egoic mind. It will backdoor you whenever it can.
“Be gentle on yourself, it’s OK you were mean, that you said unkind things, and hurt someone’s feelings, that you didn’t help, or ignored someone, that you ate horrible foods, did drugs, punched someone in the face, or drove drunk. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” The awareness exercise is not a process based in ego, or to berate yourself with negative thoughts. I’m talking about an honest, conscious, and moral accounting, followed by a development of resolve to do better. To behave in accordance with your highest self. To have total respect for your principles and values, based on the expansion of happiness for all. A complete and total “moral accounting.” True self-forgiveness will come from shining light onto your transgressions, and it will come when you consciously create behavior that replaces the selfish with the selfless.

For example on my walk today I thought about this: Yesterday I was getting a coffee and the barista asked the guy in front of me what he was doing this weekend. I was the only other person behind him in line. He went on to explain that he’d celebrated his dogs’ tenth birthday last week, and on the same day his dog collapsed, with inoperable cancer. His dog doesn’t have long left to live; it was all very sudden. His plan for the weekend was simply to stay with his best friend of ten years and comfort him. Very, very sad, right? How nice would it have been, had I put my hand on his shoulder and just comforted him for a moment. In retrospect it is painfully obvious that he was sharing with strangers for a reason, he needed support. He just stood and stared at the floor lost in thought. For my part, I didn’t say a word, ordered, and left. I think a simple gesture really would have gone a long way.

Mindfulness is a really nice gift you can give yourself, after you do your awareness training. Just like your body, to make gains you have to suffer a bit in the process. Mindfulness is that medium-pace walk on the treadmill, for a workout at 24 Hour Fitness. Awareness training is a bit different; it’s tough, grueling work. I guess thats why it’s not for everyone…

Meditate on that…