Emotional Sobriety
Is the New Prerequisite in Relating
My energetic system is the most clean and emotionally sober it’s ever been and that means that I’m unable to be in situations and dynamics that used to feel comfortable due to codependence and martyrdom.
My tolerance is low and my system is a straight-up NO to that.
Kind of like when you’ve been eating super clean and then you decide to eat something processed and your body is looking at you like, “What you talking about Willis?!”
If I feel someone emotionally or energetically pulling on me or projecting their stories onto me, I need to clear it immediately.
Not with resentment or judgment.
Just clear ass boundaries. Whether it’s energetic, verbal, or physical.
My Life Force is my most valued resource and my system has a clear attentive process to make sure I am honoring my energy first and foremost.
My history of victim consciousness and bouncing around from victim to rescuer to perpetrator was like a sport for the majority of my life and kept me in a place of high tolerance and disconnection from my power source and with others.
I was *that* person who would pull and project. That’s why I can spot it from a mile away.
I subconsciously used my trauma stories to feed it and it was oh so convincing, especially to me, because of the “legitimacy” of the stories.
I became pretty good at convincing others too. I subconsciously honed my manipulation and controlling skills that ranged from crying to get attention/love to gaslighting to raging to…
Whatever worked. I’ve done it all.
I had a black belt in the art of non-self responsibility.
And frankly, I was addicted to that state of being.
I would get off on it. My body would get a rush, a hit when I would go down this rabbit hole of grand illusions and suffering.
There was a warped sense of safety about it.
It’s a survival mechanism that happens when you’re unable to hold the sensation of truth and reality.
Because reality is more trippy than the most intense plant medicine I’ve taken.
The truth can be very sensational especially when you’re used to looking away from the spot within that is desperately wanting your attention.
The practice of being with what’s true allows you to see, over time, your true self under the layers of identities you have worn.
To create space between you and your ego is a life’s practice.
And the truth is if you want a sustainable intimate relationship with Self, others, or entities (including spirits, money, etc) you must be a practitioner.
The foundation on which you are relating from changes the entire game.
Creating from being an adult vs a child creates two very different life trajectories.
As spring has entered, I’ve been feeling a spring cleaning energy. Not only with my home but also the places where the energies feel unclean or stagnant in other areas…
From having conversations with friends where I named something that felt off.
To not respond to someone who is reaching out when the energy felt unclean.
To say no to working with people who aren’t ready to immerse in truth.
To continue to look at the places that want to be illuminated within me.
I love that my system naturally created a prerequisite of sobriety in all of my relationships.
It feels like swimming in the most pristine ocean.
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