I am a YES
Blessing the trunk with my sacred sticky sap
I want to begin with where I am now.
Not where I was an hour ago.
Not where I was 10 min ago.
Not from 1 minute ago or even 1 second ago.
I want to begin from where I am.
Right here, right now.
I show up here with you more human than ever.
I’ve gotten better at clearing the noise of unwanted clutter.
The clutter yes, and…
and the part of me that clings to the “worry clutter”…
That part is actually me.
And THAT part of me has been deeply immersed in healing.
My life quest.
IT’S BEEN A JOURNEY!
As beautiful as it has been, I’m not saying this to paint you a pretty picture.
I share words here that come from deep places of truth.
Did you know that Truth is an actual frequency that we can all tap into if we cultivate the sense for it?
What I speak is a voice that has been through many cycles of death and rebirth.
In a nutshell, I never knew any of this -knowing- was possible.
I’ve always been a lover of God.
A lover for what’s true regardless of anything else.
A lover for the knowing inside of my body.
MY body.
As close as “Do I want strawberries? Do I want them diced? Do I want it in a smoothie?”
As close as, “God that massage sent chills all over my body, more please, yes”
As close as grazing the mud on my skin when it rains, wiggling my toes in it, to shitting in the forest because I’m having such an experience with nature that I could not disrupt, so I chose to become it instead.
As close as, self-pleasuring among trees in the woods and wiping my hands on them, blessing the trunks with my sacred sticky sap.
As close as, “I feel trapped here, get me out of this space, let’s move NOW.”
As close as, I think I need to call a friend.
As close as delicious naps, to majestical dancing, and as close as a heart that soars wide, big, and deep.
As close as being with my fragile human body with an infinite capacity to expand in any direction it chooses.
As above, so below.
As without, so within.
As the universe, so the soul.
This right here…
This is expansion; my deep downs are matched with big expansions.
This right here…
Is called making up the rules all the way down to the syntax or phrasing you use to communicate.
This right here…
Is called making up the rules as I go in contrast to a society founded on completely different principles than what is actually true.
Down to the place where nothing else even matters other than being in alignment with what is true.
Down to nothing.
Down to the fact that Sainthood IS something that I AM living regardless of what a rule book says.
That I have access to the ecstatic states of bliss they would experience with God mixed right into all the places society has demonized and shot to hell.
My journey…
Let me tell you!!
I didn’t travel this far in order to find my yes in living with my calling.
I already had my YES.
I was a YES since I was a child.
I was a YES to this call and will be to the day I die in a way that doesn’t really make sense.
I didn’t journey to find my purpose even though that’s what I’ve been chasing for so many years.
“What is my purpose?”
“Why can’t I find it?”
Waaaah waaaah waaaaah!!
That has been my baby cry to the heavens since forever.
This is not what I’ve journeyed to find.
This is already inside of me.
Duh!
Haha….. It’s easy to say now, but it hasn’t actually been that easy.
I am who I am.
I’ve journeyed simply to learn to love who I am.
To learn that Wholeness is possible.
Wholeness.
Holiness.
Same thing, lol.
I am feeling full and grateful.
I don’t care about your liking of me.
I do not care if you find me attractive, that I appeal to your senses, that I make you horny.
I do not care if you wanted to date me way back then and never told me.
I’m not here to appease your senses.
I’m not here to give you my life force energy.
I’m not here for your pick-up game.
I’m not here to put on lingerie, get on a pole, and strip for you.
— -Not in the way that you think at least.
What is it that you think that I do?
What is it that your senses tell your body?
What does your smell tell you? Your tongue?
I am not here to make anything look pretty.
I am here to serve whatever is TRUE. True in you, true in me.
^note to self.
TRUTH.
We all have the sense. Some have it more developed than others.
I am here to show you that what I have found along this journey, is not only for me.
I am here to show you that it is possible for all of us to feel whole, to feel holy.
That living in Sainthood is not something that is limited by dogma.
I am here to tell you that I have found a way to walk.
If you’re not interested in learning The Way, then this is not for you.
For those of you who can feel The Way, for those who can feel it here now, know you’re not alone.
You will find it.
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