Write Me a Love Letter
In words instead of riddles and clever hints
I kept asking you for a love letter, but you did not write me one.
I was so annoyed by this obvious admission of your indifference to me, so I finally told you in words instead of riddles and clever hints.
I want you to write me a love letter.
Still nothing.
So, I know now that it is your own failure to love me well, and not some fault of mine. I remind you that I never got my love letter, something to hold over your head so that you’ll do what I say this time, but you feel not even an ounce of guilt.
In fact, you smile.
“You are the romantic,” you tell me.
“I think you want a love letter so you can read it and think about how much better your love letter to me would be”.
I do not want you to win by knowing how accurately you have nailed me to the wall, so I turn away from you in feigned anger to keep you from seeing my grin.
“You are wrong” I say, still convinced that I would like a love letter.
I guess I will just have to write this one myself because you are always challenging me.
You are always challenging me to expand into new parts of myself.
You are always challenging me to receive more of life, to feel more fulfilled, to enjoy more of the riches of my life, and my life with you is so rich. I do not remember ever dreaming of having a family when I was young. To me the only safety was solitude.
I did not imagine I could have both.
You built a love around me with wide windows and a tall ceiling, but if I ever sprout wings you will step in front of me only to hold open the door. You love me so much you would rather watch in wonder at my flight as I disappeared into the sky than see me wither indoors.
I feel so much freedom to leave, I have no desire to go, but if I did sprout wings, I imagine you would not let me stay.
You would challenge me.
I know.
I am the romantic one.
That is why I write poetry and letters, and maybe someday I will be brave enough to share them. No doubt you will probably tease me into it.
You will challenge me in some aggravating way to be terribly vulnerable
and unleashed in the world,
but only when it is just at the edge of my comfort zone,
and somedays you will write me love letters in the ways that you don’t.
In the way that you push my buttons and get me to write one of my own.
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