KwaNTum Field Notes 2022 #4: Autophysiopsychic — Science Mad Gone

Untitled work from Yusef Lateef. See more of his art here.

Com/PuTer ProCeSSing uNiT ComMend 4:

“If I didn’t define myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive” — Audre Lorde

Dia/GNosis:

The germ who becomes a doctor does not believe in germ theory

(K)Ha Ha Ha Ha

Samuel A. Carthwright calls me

Drapetomaniac

Dysaesthesia Aethiopica

Naming the conditioning without naming the conditions

The symptoms without the root causes

A slave is an objectified image (i.e. capital, money, symptoms, productivity)

(K)Why do I desire to run? To run back to an another ancestral sensation?

Fugitive science: Beware of those who call themselves doctors but do not care about you

When all the tears have dried up, all that is left is SW/T

When boundaries are crossed, what is the response?

Fear responses:

Do I FiGht?

Do I FLee?

Do I FReeZe?

Do I PLeaSe?

Do I (K)LauGh?

A lukasa of memory lit up and SW/T in a pool at the bottom

The bitter sapient wetting of my tongue

I need to let the dirt cover me

Because brokenness gives me expansive taste

The wander is my re/medusine

Desert: dis/sociation in unbinding oneself from the re/ligious constriction —

Always expecting my body to be attacked with no response

Body whipped, Body marked, Body burnt, Body made to itch, Body made to SW/T

Body wukked up wuk wuk wuk wuk wuk wuk

Gl/itch Gl/itch Gl/itch Gl/itch Gl/itch Gl/itch

Whirling in the dust around this emptiness, the (K)Pain, the thirst

I must de/vote to searching for something else

Because all I’ve known is (K)Pain

Over Used and Thrown away

The MasK is slipping into another Per/sona into a speak for myself into a Code SW/TCH

Dig/I/aTL…

I de/sire to ChaSe what has been dismembered and scattered

How do I regain another sensation in my body?

I got the heebie jeebies I got the hebetude I got Hepi=MeL x S

I got to take care

I need to remember the phantom sensations in my body again

I need a spring

Re/Fugee Nzambi

I could fly

I feel light

Let me go go go go go kwa kwa kwa kwa sw sw sw sw

Kom/PuTer iNiTiation

The proCeSS of stick fighting on the skin of the drum

The brain reconstructing

the sti sti sti sti muli hitting

coming through the senses

To jump back to (S)Ran/Dom

I draw from my emptiness

I am drunk from my emptiness

I am wandering around to fill my emptiness

I will find worthiness in my emptiness

I will lift myself up from my emptiness

Each pulse rippling becomes me strung together

A nervous conditioning clearing my image

I muse de/fine myself name myself

Follow the (K)Leader

aL KyM/oRG

Nzambi a Mpungu

Kimpa (NZimba) Vita

Nganga Nzumbi

Possessed by NT

The b/looming of me

“I abandon myself to my joy”

Jack be nimble Jack be quick

Jack jump over

the KNDL sti sti sti sti stick

Kon/Q/error

Run run run run to another sense

not a running ragged

but a running to a safe space oRG

in water

in mountains

in the savage M>ND

away from the empty tricks

feel the sensation of emptiness

of the wound in your side

let it ReGenerate into a sacred instrument a channel a conduit a conductor a NaRRator

Jack jump over the KNDL

DeCoDing: I must hold my own accounting on my back

I will Fug all the ways I’ve been fractured into fractals

What is violence coded?

Violence justified?

In the moment

when immediate aCTioN is needed

to stop further harm

Fug a code

Fug a/cute

when you are FiGhting for your life

NGombo — the green digital Rai(G)N

I am not a small thing I am Hepi=MeL x S I am aL KyM/oRG

I am a transformer of beats

I turn fights into dances

No cap/I/tal

I am a Mel x S

a/We

The vastness of space packed into a SW/T

I find the warmth in the destruction

The M>ND ReCoNSTruction of PerCePTion

NTR (NaR) Sense:

“The first tone of MeRKy is (K)Pain”

(K)Where can I be in my body? In what space?

This year’s series of field notes will be a list of ComMendMeants exploring the idea of these programming codes as praise songs of the nature-based hybrid automaton Al Kym/Org. They are part of the process of my larger poetic project KwaNTum, which explores concepts of knowledge and knowledge-making from a Black, Afro-diasporic perspective, using ideas from STEM, Afrofuturism and the Black Speculative Movement. This project is partially made possible by funds rom the NYSCA Literary Grant, sponsored by Culture Push.

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The Operating System & Liminal Lab is an open access social practice experiment in the redistribution of creative resources and infrastructures founded and facilitated by Elæ Moss with an ever evolving global network of creative collaborators of all disciplines (and species).

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Sherese Francis

Sherese Francis

Sherese Francis is a Queens, NY-based, Afro-Caribbean-American poet, editor, interdisciplinary artist, workshop facilitator, and literary curator.

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