The Optimal Life, It’s Not Perfect, Just Better!
I Hope My Wife Dies First
Somebody has to go first. Why not her?
I was born in 1958. My present wife was born in 1965. I say my present wife to clarify and bring up the fact that I was previously married. In any case, we are getting older as are you, it came up in conversation as to which one of us will statistically die first. Sorry to report to all men, it is usually us. Typically, if there is one, the man in a married relationship will kick the bucket first, leaving the surviving spouse to live for usually another seven years. While you may think this is nothing that I want to think about, I’m right there with you, but the fact is we are all going to die.
So, I told my wife that I hoped she would die first. There was a look of horror on her face, to which I replied, please allow me to explain fully. And so goes my explanation which I logically reasoned out emotionally. (Yes, that’s how men do things, we think the feelings.)
If I die first, she is in all likelihood going to be the one who finds my body at home as I’m trusting I’m going to die of old age in my own bed. So there’s that trauma she’ll have to deal with. Next, she’s going to be left with making the funeral arrangement which I’ve kept simple, cremating my body, and scattering the ashes to the wind. Have…
