31 Ways to Make Your Life Better

Excerpted from: The Optimism Cure

1 Find people to hug every day.

2. Practice gratitude. It will help you avoid depression.

3. Grow your muscles with the slow burn resistance band technique I describe in this book. Having well-developed muscles will decrease the chance of a serious injury or death if you fall.

4. Find a purpose for your life and then figure out a way to achieve it. Going after your purpose will enliven you and make you want to be around forever.

5. Imagine a perfect day 10 or 20 years in the future. It could be a workday or a day off. Describe the day to yourself in great detail starting from the moment you wake up to when you fall asleep. Then imagine that you are standing in that day in the future. Ask yourself: what was the last thing I had to do to get to this day? What was the thing I had to do before that? Continue this until you get back to the day you started, today. Then you will know what you have to do to get to that perfect day.

6. Write a poem at least once a month. It doesn’t have to rhyme. It could be a short haiku. In the poem, express thoughts that make you and a person you love feel good.

7. Make a list of the ways that you can help other people. My friend reads to terminal patients at their bedside. He told me that not only do the patients enjoy it, but he enjoys it too.

8. Find something that you can learn and become skilled at. Years ago, I learned to play classical guitar. Today, I’m learning to play ping pong with my friends and can’t wait until the next game.

9. Find someone to love and love them really hard. Discover activities that you can do together. My partner shares my love for biking, ping pong, Wordle, working out, watching movies, dancing, caring about each other and much more.

10. Join a group of people doing something you want to learn to do. Or start a new group to do it. I am looking for a singing group in my area that I can join. Until then I sing to myself.

11. Buy or rent a bicycle and start riding every day. Life goes more smoothly when you’re on a bike. I ride at least 10 miles a day, weather permitting, down a path adjacent to the Hudson River in Bergen County. As I ride, I see the New York City skyline across the water. It rejuvenates me.

12. Learn more about yourself. You can use introspection or professional therapy. You may discover that events in the distant past are holding you back from a fulfilling life. Then you can free yourself from their negative influence.

13. We tend to carry unpleasant memories from the past into our future. That impedes our progress and growth. Clear out your future. When you have an empty future, anything is possible.

14. Learn a scientific fact each month. It will make walking around on the Earth much more interesting.

15. Memorize a poem that you love. It will become a companion. You can recite it to yourself while you are biking or taking a walk. Share it with someone you love. I memorized several poems by Dylan Thomas while in my 30s. I recited them to myself while swimming laps in a local YMCA pool. I’ve discovered that as I age, his poems become deeper and filled with new meanings.

16. Find a place where you can watch the sun rise and set. I live in Fort Lee, New Jersey, and have a view of the Hudson River and New York City. I wake up to a sunrise every day. Then at sunset, I watch the buildings across the Hudson in New York turn golden at twilight. As I watch the shadows advance, I can almost feel the Earth turning under my feet.

17. Learn how to listen, rather than waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can say what you wanted to say. Good listening cements relationships.

18. Call family members and friends at least once a week. Make the conversation mostly about them instead of about you.

19. Find something you can do every day to help save the planet.

20. Create your bucket list of things that are worth doing and start doing them.

21. Try living your life from the viewpoint, “there’s nothing wrong here.”

22. Learn how to resolve disputes without having to prove that the other person you’re arguing with is wrong.

23. Human beings are story makers, and we live inside our stories. This can cause upsets and unhappiness. Learn how to deal with what actually happened, instead of your story about what happened.

24. When faced with a challenge, learn to summon eight seconds of courage. Use them when you face frightening situations. I learned this from the movie “We Bought a Zoo,” and it works.

25. Give up being right, especially when you know that you are right. You will have a novel experience and a chance to grow.

26. Practice losing arguments. You will be amazed how useful that is in a relationship.

27. Discover a spiritual practice that you can believe in.

28. Practice being undeserving. Go after things that you want without having to deserve or earn them. And accept them graciously when they arrive.

29. When we get upset, we often hide the cause from ourselves. If you want to find out what’s really troubling you, take several deep breaths and relax. Whatever you’re upset about will pop into your mind. Then you can examine the true cause and decide what to do about it.

30. Be open to new ideas, especially if they contradict what you believe.

31. You are the hero of the story of your life. In every good story, the hero faces challenges. Eventually he or she finds a guide who helps overcome the challenges. Let this book be your guide!