SOCIETY AND BELONGING
Don’t Wanna Leave Your Home?
Get Out of Your Room Once You’ve Read This
Have any of you played Sims when they were kids? I am not up to date with the high tech versions it has today but, back in the day your character had to go out of their house once in a while. If they hadn’t left their plot for a few days they would be suffering from negative emotions. Thinking about this retrospectively, I can’t believe how developed a child’s game was back then. There are definitely some lessons we can draw from that.
You might have already heard the Japanese term Hikikomori. It refers to the phenomenon of young people socially withdrawing themselves and not leaving their parents’ homes for months at a time.
Sure, not everyone has the case of Hikikomori but, nowadays it is more often than usual that people find comfort in solitude and tend to move out only when necessary. The sad thing is, it’s not necessarily out of a sense of inner peace that people want to be by themselves. It’s social anxiety mixed with digital addiction.
Soon to be a 3-year-long Pandemic followed by economic and political uncertainties is certainly to be blamed for this in big part. Also the fact that younger generations today, unless they’ve grown up in active conflict regions, grew up in relatively peaceful and stable times makes it harder to cope with all that’s going on.
Thank god there is Netflix right?
And Insta, and TikTok or
whatever “social” platform that you are taking to suppress your pain.
Bad news is that, finding escape in the digital world is only easing that pain temporarily. And in the meantime we are losing our intuition, our ability to feel pain and joy alike, our ability to cope with problems and the stress we feel due to them.
Someone I’ve recently met said, when asked if he likes living in the city that we live in:
“of course.. I produce, so I am happy.”
As Marxist as I thought that sounded at first, this resonated with me. Doesn’t matter where you are, if you are putting your heart and soul into creating something whatever that thing is, there is an indescribable sense of fulfilment you get from it.
That’s how I decided to write this to share with the rest of you, who also are tired of doing “nothing” that fulfils them and I’ll share some tips as I move along the journey of finding what it is that makes me feel like a whole.
Coming back to the message in the title of this somewhat unstructured flow of thoughts…
Don’t escape your emotions when you are feeling pain, or boredom or joy by turning to your social platforms or watching silly videos. Sure, watch 1 or 2 if it helps but there is a much better way to cope with these emotions. Are you ready to hear?
Pick up a phone. Like for calling a good friend and inviting them for a walk outside.
You don’t have any friends?
Then just go for a walk on your own, observe the streets in your neighbourhood, try to notice things you haven’t paid attention to before.
Then ask someone at a coffee shop or working on a construction side on your way how their day is going.
You don’t have to be a social butterfly but there is something that connects us back to society and gives us a sense of belonging from interacting with people around us even if it is very limited. If you are not much of a talker, that’s fine too.
You can always do an act of kindness that will make you feel more connected. For example give your bus seat to someone who needs it more than you, if you have a cart full of groceries and the person behind you a can of soda then let them go before you, ask someone in an art gallery which piece they have liked the most and why…possibilities are endless but for all this to happen you have to get out of your apartment and you have to have courage.
I know this all sounds super inconvenient and you might even ask what for when you can just watch the entire new season of a “swoon worthy” series while munching on your favourite snacks but believe me it will be worth it.
I think you already know this deep down inside that no movie or fiction or dreamy social media post can inspire you and give you the energy the real world does. Sure it sucks sometimes but that’s why beautiful things that happen to you will stand out.
So, close whatever device you are reading this from, put something besides “home wear” on and just take a walk. Maybe call your family or some friends if you still like them. If not, plenty of people are outside whose paths could possibly cross yours.
Take care and if you think you may need more of such messages follow my writing or come back another day. Don’t binge read everything!
