But Why Would I Listen to You?
Why following my own guidance can feel so difficult.
Can You Relate?!
I often hear people say things like “Doctors make the worst patients” or “Teachers make the worst students” & it makes me smile becuase I totally get it.
As an ex-teacher I know I probably wasn’t the best student at times & now as a therapist & coach I am fully aware that whilst my work focuses on supporting others to develop their own self-love; self-compassion; confidence & to manage their health more effectively, I don’t always do the same for myself.
I’ve lived with chronic illness since picking up a virus in 2011 & managed to pivot my life & my career over time. I set up my business & run my partners business behind the scenes. I re-trained as a counsellor & a coach & even achieved a distinction in my Masters earlier this year.
I support others with chronic illness in my day-to-day work. I love being a part of someones journey through chronic illness & all it entails, and seeing the changes in them each week.
But, I often find myself struggling to offer myself the same level of self-compassion that I encourage others to do.
The thing is…
- I know how to look after myself.
- I know how to listen to my body.
- I know the signs that I need to look out for.
- I know that I need to live a balanced life.
- I know that I need to switch off more & be more present.
- I know how much of an impact my diet has upon my health.
- I know how much stress & overwhelm can set me back.
- I know that my mental health struggles when I’m unwell for too long.
- I know how important rest is for recovery & maintaining health.
…If I know all of these things, if these are some of the things I support others with… why do I forget about myself & my own needs so often?!
Being a high achiever & an ambitious woman living in a body that needs you to chill a bit more can be pretty difficult at times. Especially when it’s linked with your self worth & how you value yourself as a person based on what you can do or be.
I can easily fall into the boom-bust cycle myself, all the while I’m aware of it & what the consequences could potentially be, but still I push through.
It was my Birthday a couple of days ago & it’s made me sit & reflect a lot on the past year & everything I have done / been through & it made me laugh because despite my health issues I have done SO much — probably far too much if I’m honest with myself.
But the driver I have in me is so strong. It overrides my own self-compassion.
Therefore I’ve set myself a goal for November. (Yes I know how that sounds…) But these goals are ones that I hope will enable me to claw back my energy, find my spark & get my creative juices flowing once more. Staring at a screen unsure of where to begin just isn’t doing it for me anymore!
My Goals:
- Get back to basics in terms of health management. (Sleep / Food / Rest)
- No more trying to cheat the system — my body will win. If I do too much for too long; I absolutely will crash.
- Limit working hours for the next month. Maximum of 3 hours per day 4 days per week (this includes client work, so if I have 2 clients in one day I only work an extra hour).
- Get outside every single day.
- My hobby is writing & I am about to start writing my 1st book. Therefore I will write for 1 hour per day (max). This will be a super-focused session, with no distractions; & for 3 hours on a Friday.
If I still find my energy isn’t recovering I will rethink things & possibly lessen my hobby writing time, but will see how it goes.
What Are My Lessons?
Being able to admit to myself that I’ve let things slide can feel uncomfortable but once I do things seem so much clearer.
Treat self-care as a non-negotiable & not just something I write about or talk about with others.
Recognise when I’m leading from my ego & not being fully aligned with who I am, what I represent or what I need to comprise on in order to maintain much better energy levels.
Showing myself self-compassion is essential. Not only do I have chronic illnesses to contend with, I’m in a stage of my life where I physically need to look after myself a lot more. If I want to continue reaching my goals & living the life I want to, I need to know how to live within my boundaries & to respect those boundaries.
Thanks so much for reading my November reflections. I do believe that as the years go by Birthdays offer you the perfect space to reflect upon things. I hope it’s been helpful to you as well.
I felt that by writing this & publishing on Medium, it will not only help me hold myself accountable, but also to share that sometimes hitting reset is what’s needed, even if it can feel like it’s taking a step back.
Lynsey
Do you take stock of things when your Birthday comes around?
How are you with living your own message — do you take your own advice or guidance or do you find that you forget about yourself just like I have?
I would love to hear your thoughts 💚
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