How Can You Transform a Difficult Situation For the Better?
Maybe it is all in how you look at things
It happened, 40 days before school is out, and I got the dreaded email from my kid’s 4th grade teacher.
“Can we talk”…
The dreaded, anxiety inducing, welling up from the pit of my stomach, can we talk.
Nobody sits around saying I can’t wait to have these can we talk discussions.
I will say she did a good job of alerting us to the topic of conversation, however, it still doesn’t always stop the initial overwhelming dread.
The Situation
My 4th grader has strong squirrels, as we say. Pretty much anything is shiner and more interesting than homework. (I can’t blame him though, the acorn hasn’t fallen far from this tree).
He’s a kind and caring kid, he feels things deeply. And forgetting his homework can quickly turn into an anxiety-producing swirl.
I have watched him before when he realizes he forgot something, and the anxiety rises up in his face. It hijacks his brain, and he is not learning to remember, from what should be a natural consequence.
And the good news is, I’m not the only one who’s seen it, actually his teacher has seen it too. And that is why she wanted to brainstorm. How can we help him now to be successful come 5th grade, and going into middle school?
How I Could Have Reacted
I could have gotten defensive. And not really taken the time to listen to where she was coming from. And sat there and not participated.
I could have reacted from a place of guilt and shame. From a punishment for his “bad behavior”.
I could have reacted from a place of fear and blame, how is he going to be successful in the future, and I could keep worrying about it to this day.
But none of that serves anybody, let alone my son.
How I Did React
Let’s be honest, none of us are perfect. And I know my kid is not either.
Instead of coming at this situation from a place of anxiety induced worry, I took the opportunity to reframe this situation through gratitude.
It let me see it for what it is. His teacher cares about him so much that she saw an opportunity to give him tools to be successful in the future.
A real opportunity to join her in the discussion, to figure out how to empower him to help himself!
And in our brainstorming session, we came up with strategies to implement both at school and home! And we’re going to test it out over the next 3 weeks and regroup.
Reframing is Powerful, Even Retrospective
Even this morning, as I was journaling, I found more from this situation that I can be grateful for!
At first, I wasn’t grateful for my kids poor organization, however today, I realized that I am learning how to tame my own squirrels better through this experience!
I’m grateful that my kid has a teacher that cares so much for his well-being now as well as in middle school where he could feel the consequences deeper.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to work with my kid, to have these important conversations with him, that help him know that we are on his side!
I’m grateful for the chance to problem-solve WITH him! To help guide him to find solutions that work FOR him.
I’m grateful that we can use this as an example of growth vs. fixed mindset too. That he is going to continue to grow and change. And there’s nothing he can’t learn or overcome.
I’m so grateful for the chance to walk through this with him. For the opportunity to deepen our relationship.
And the list can go on.
Conclusion
I have learned so much from this situation, when I took the opportunity to look at it from a place of gratitude.
This has become an opportunity for my kid that is going to alter his trajectory going forward. I know he will be successful in the future because we are taking steps now to empower him going forward.
Gratitude serves me far better than worry ever did.
So today, is there a situation that you are dealing with that maybe you could reframe through the lens of gratitude?
Gratitude has been a central part of my mindset upgrade. Are you ready to upgrade yours? Click here to check out the Free Mindset Framework!
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