I Hear You Moved On
I see you carry within, instead.
Whether it is from someone or something, we have all most probably claimed to have “moved on” at one time or the other. We decided that a situation no longer served us and we decided not to carry it anymore. ‘Moving on’ conjures up the image of something remaining in the past — something which we let go of while we keep going. We say we move on from people and things, but I do not think it is possible to actually do that.
Nothing Left Behind
In reality, we do not ever leave anything behind.
Every single experience affects us, from what we consider to be the most mundane to that which we consider to be the most important. Our experiences become part of us. They change how we see the world, and, hence, how we see ourselves. Consequently, the way in which we interact with the world around us changes too.
Here is a simple example: remember your first Christmas after you found out the truth about Santa? (I’m not going to spell it out here; I wouldn’t want this article to be a spoiler for any prospective reader). Christmas before and Christmas after could never, ever, be the same.
Why? Because you cannot move on from truth.
What We Experience Is Our Truth
The loss of a parent. Academic failure. Winning the lottery. Heartbreak.
I can share about my experience with others, but it is impossible for anyone to know what I experienced. This is my truth. And once truth is known, it cannot be taken away. How then do I move on from it?
Carry Within Instead of Lug Around
When we experience situations which elicit negative emotions, our time and energy go into how to stop or remove the unpleasantness. We find it difficult to carry on with other things in our lives. Even if we do, it is often not done light-heartedly.
Unless we process our pain, our fears or our losses, they hold us hostage. The feeling of ‘being stuck’ creeps in because the yearning to be free of them is in conflict with our perceived inability to break free from them. The outcome? We lug around a load which drags us down.
We never move on from pain because it becomes part of us. What happens when we process it, however, is that it metamorphoses. It changes us, the way in which we do things, how we interact and how we make sense of the world.
We do not move on.
We simply stop lugging around, and, instead carry within that which we accept as part of our truth.
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