Personal Stories
I was Relieved After Finding out the Reason for my Social Awkwardness
Realizing my limitations made me confident
I wouldn’t find a better audience to share this personal experience with than my fellow writers on Medium.
I was born socially awkward and this became obvious during my teenage years and youth. Social gatherings, parties, etc. were extremely painful and made little sense to me.
Imagine a group of batchmates (I cannot say friends!) huddled for a coffee and being the lone person trying to figure out the sense of all the chitter chatter. Even worse, trying to figure out the outcome of all the talks that happened at night in bed. I was clueless, to say the least.
I was far behind in gossip and the latest news afloat on the campus. I often realized there was a lot of catching up to do, but didn’t know how to do it. I can only imagine the embarrassment of those who decided to invite me to such groups. I am grateful to them for trying.
But to be honest, the nagging pain never left me for being the odd one out, for not making any valuable contributions to the gatherings and doing nothing more than sipping coffee completely lost.
My personal traits gave the impression of an arrogant human being, for which I don’t blame anybody. In fact, one of my batchmates remarked that my presence made some of my classmates miserable. The sensitive person in me was obviously hurt and wanted to tell them about the effort I had been making in my head (which never materialised of course!)to fit in…
Clearly, the notion of a misfit can make you underconfident and affect you personally and professionally. And it did too.
Mind you, I am not always this miserable or helpless…
Things changed drastically while I was in a one-on-one conversation and not in a group.
I am more lively, and opinionated and often surprise the other person with my way of communication.
I am not awkward or recluse but spirited during such talks. Such meaningful conversations let my imagination fly and never did I shy away from expressing my opinions.
The turning point
During my post-graduation days, I happened to take a personality test and realized I am an introvert- an INFJ, the rarest personality type. I did some research and tried to understand what it meant to be of this personality type. I realized there are people out there who are just like me (not in huge numbers though!) and who have made their mark by embracing all their awkward limitations in this world ruled by extroverts.
Happiness is not the first feeling I felt, it was a relief and peace to finally learn nothing was wrong with being ME!
The coming of phase and life right now
I am a more confident person today, embracing my introversion.
When my work got featured in the award-winning community Introvert, Dear, I was over the moon!
If you are an introvert and is considering writing as a hobby or profession, this article could be a gentle nudge for you.
Even though my perspective of being myself has evolved, society continues to see me as a recluse which I cannot rectify.
If you are someone who can relate to my rants,
You should already know there is very little correlation between creativity and the ability to talk for hours without making any sense!
The popular actress Emma Watson, after reading the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, was quoted saying, “I’m kind of an introverted kind of person just by nature, it’s not like a conscious choice that I’m making necessarily. Coming to realize that about myself was very empowering.”
She summed it up nicely. We should use our inner power to be the best version.
Ours is still an extrovert’s world. But let’s not forget the quiet revolutions that introverts like J.K Rowling, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, etc. have brought to this world.
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