Overthinking Your Way to Anxiety — and How to Stop it
We can all have a tendency to overthink at times, but when it becomes a regular habit it can be disastrous to your wellbeing
If I am going to be totally honest with you, I am writing this as much for myself as I am for anyone else.
The propensity to overthink everything has been mine for a long while.
Thinking about the past, all the stupid and — in some cases — downright dangerous things I did, and all the things that I am still ashamed of.
Then I think about the future, agonizing over every decision and turning all possible outcomes around in my head until it hurts. Then I do nothing but end up paralyzed with indecision.
Analyzing every conversation and every situation. Every look and motion someone makes. Worrying about what I should or shouldn’t say and what the other person may or may not be thinking — then beating myself up for hours or even days later if I feel that I have said the wrong thing.
This talent for overthinking has led to nothing but anxiety and pain, not to mention missing events that I would have probably enjoyed because I couldn’t stop thinking about all the negative things that could happen.
It has also made a self-fulfilling prophecy inasmuch that, by constantly worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing, you invariably come across in a way you didn’t intend.
Although it can be difficult to change this mindset, I truly believe it can be changed. Overthinking is just a habit at the end of the day, and habits can be broken.
These are the steps I am currently taking to break the overthinking habit.
Recognizing when you are overthinking is the first step
When you find you are starting to replay events in your head or find yourself worrying about things that are out of your control, take a deep breath (yes, seriously) and remind yourself that this really isn’t productive.
You can notice the thoughts, but then choose to let them pass by instead of ruminating over them, which only builds them up and makes them worse.
Challenge your thinking
If you have an issue that is within your control and that you need to consider, make sure you focus on problem-solving and try not to let yourself start catastrophizing the situation.
Overthinking inevitably leads to negativity and imagining the worst possible outcomes, but it is rarely as bad as you imagine. Try to take a step back and look at whether you have any real evidence that the situation is as bad as your thoughts are leading you to believe.
It may also be useful to ask yourself whether what you are worried about will matter in a year, or five years? If not, then why are you expending precious energy on worrying?
Stop living in the past
The past is just that, in the past.
There is nothing you can do to change it, and there is no benefit to dwelling on what might have been or what you should have said or done.
Whatever has happened or not happened, whatever mistakes you have made, whatever chances you didn’t take, they have all led to this point, and you are still here. Let them go. You can only take control of the here and now.
Show yourself compassion
Breaking the overthinking habit is not easy and will take practice. As with anything, the more you practice, the better you will get.
Try not to let yourself get negative towards yourself, and if you do, try to change the narrative. If you think, “I am a failure. I’m not good enough”, notice that thought and change it to, “I am trying my best, and that is always good enough.”
Distract yourself
Exercise, reading, a hobby. Phoning a friend, asking how they are, and listening to them, instead of the thoughts in your head. These are all great ways of distracting yourself.
Conclusion
By overthinking every situation, whether past, present, or future, all you will do is make yourself anxious. Your ‘fight or flight’ switch will be constantly on, which may eventually lead to full-blown anxiety and depression.
Learning to stop worrying about things that are not within your control will be what sets you free.
You cannot control how people see you. You cannot control what other people think. You only have control over your own thoughts and how you choose to let them affect you.
This is not about never overthinking again; it is learning to recognise when you are doing it and taking positive action to conquer it.
I have been overthinking pressing ‘publish’ on this and what people may think when they read it — therefore, I am hitting the publish button, and I am going to make myself a coffee and read a book instead of worrying.
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