The Dangers of Making Anger Your Refuge

A Guide to Mindful Treatment

Lauro Medina Jr.
The Orange Journal
Published in
5 min readFeb 3, 2023

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Photo by Ryan Snaadt on Unsplash

Anger is an emotion we all experience at some point in our lives that have both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, anger can motivate us to take action and defend ourselves against perceived threats or injustices and can be a healthy way of expressing our feelings. On the other hand, when anger becomes our refuge, it can quickly become a dangerous force that can trap us in a vicious cycle that can harm our relationships, well-being, and quality of life.

In this article, we will explore why anger can become a refuge and how we can use conservative treatment to escape this cycle and gain control over our emotions.

Why Anger Becomes a Refuge

When anger becomes a refuge, we often see it as a means of gaining power and control over a situation. When we are angry, we feel we are in charge and can make things happen. However, this sense of power is often delusional, and it leads to more problems in the long run. When we act on our anger, we may do things that we later regret, causing harm to our relationships and well-being.

Another reason anger can become a refuge is that it can be a way of avoiding other emotions that we find uncomfortable or challenging. For example, when we are sad or hurt, it may be easier to turn to anger to mask these feelings. However, this avoidance strategy ultimately leads to more problems as it prevents us from dealing with the underlying issues causing us pain.

A Path to Escaping the Cycle of Anger

Developing a conservative treatment to escape the vicious cycle of anger is essential. Mindfulness is the practice of being present at the moment and observing our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judgment. By practicing mindfulness, we can learn to recognize the signs of anger before it becomes overwhelming and to respond to it more constructively.

One of the benefits of practicing mindfulness is that it can help us gain more control over our emotions. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can recognize the triggers that lead to our anger and respond to them more constructively. For example, we may learn that certain events or people tend to trigger our anger, and we can work on changing our response to these triggers. This practice can help us to avoid the harmful effects of anger, such as regrets, hurt feelings, and damaged relationships. By taking control of our emotions, we can live a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Mindfulness can also help us deal with other emotions that we may find uncomfortable or difficult. For example, it can be easier to turn to anger to mask these feelings when we are sad or hurt. However, this avoidance strategy ultimately leads to more problems as it prevents us from dealing with the underlying issues causing us pain. By practicing mindfulness, we can become more aware of these feelings and learn to deal with them without any judgment or the need to listen to outside negative feedback.

Practical Ways to Practice Mindfulness

One of the best ways to practice mindfulness is through meditation. Meditation is the practice of focusing on our breath or a word or phrase to quiet our minds and become more aware of our thoughts and emotions. Meditating for even a few minutes a day, we can recognize the signs of anger and respond to it more creatively, which will lead to positive habits.

Another way to practice mindfulness is through journaling. Writing about our thoughts and feelings can help us process and understand the underlying issues causing our anger. It can also be helpful to reflect on what we have written and identify patterns or themes contributing to our offense. By writing down our feelings and reflections, we can better understand our emotions and learn to respond to them more effectively.

The Benefits of Qigong for Anger Management

  • Qigong is a Chinese practice used for thousands of years to promote physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. This practice involves using specific movements, postures, breathing techniques, and visualization to cultivate qi, or life energy, in the body. While Qigong is often associated with physical health, it can also be a powerful tool for managing anger issues.
  • Being a Qigong advocate, enthusiast, and teacher, I have come to learn and appreciate the powerful benefits of Qigong practice in my students for over 20 years. Qigong can help break the cycle of anger by promoting inner calm and balance, reducing stress and anxiety, and improving emotional regulation.
  • One of the critical aspects of Qigong that can help manage anger is its focus on breath control and visualization. Controlled breathing helps regulate the body’s natural relaxation response and slow down the fight-or-flight response, which can often trigger intense anger.
    The philosophical aspect of Qigong can also help manage anger.
  • Visualization techniques, such as imagining negative energy flowing out of the body, can also help to release built-up tension and calm the mind. Additionally, the physical movements and postures in Qigong can help to release physical stress, which is often a manifestation of pent-up emotions. Qigong’s slow, fluid movements can also help create a sense of grounding and stability, which can be particularly beneficial for individuals who struggle with intense anger.
  • Qigong encourages a holistic perspective on well-being and a deep understanding of the interconnectedness of all things. By embracing this philosophy, individuals can cultivate compassion and understanding for themselves and others, reducing the likelihood of getting triggered by anger-inducing situations.

In Conclusion:

Breaking free from the vicious cycle of anger is challenging but rewarding. It requires a deep understanding of the root causes of anger and a commitment to developing the tools and practices necessary to manage it. Whether through therapy, mindfulness, or other techniques like Qigong. Cultivating a more peaceful, compassionate, and balanced approach to life is possible.

Ultimately, breaking free from the cycle of anger is about more than managing negative emotions. It is about creating a more fulfilling life and fostering deeper connections with others.

For more on mindfulness, press the link below.

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Lauro Medina Jr.
The Orange Journal

Lauro Medina,Ph.D, is a Kung Fu & Qigong Hall of Famer/Professional Life Coach/NLP Master Practitioner/Passionate Writer/Up and Coming Author/laurom67@gmail.com