The Meditation of Water
How I cure my anxiety every night.
I grew up with insomnia and a low level of anxiety, which eventually grew into full-fledged panic attacks later in life.
Anxiety has become a pervasive condition in our society. Many of us work jobs where we sit at a desk all day, gorging ourselves on pressure and small doses of panic.
And, more has become expected of us “worker bees” in a shorter amount of time.
Not to mention, we have longer work hours, little time off, and smartphones that demand constant attention.
Somethings gotta give, and it’s usually our nervous system.
We Weren’t Built for That
We were built to run around the plains and mountains and valleys. We were built to hunt and forage and hide and seek from other predators.
It was a lifestyle that fits our body chemistry, body chemistry that craves action and excitement not computer screens and papers — physical activity.
Sure We Have the Gym You Might Say
Many of us train at a gym, but that is only part of the equation. There is a deeper need we all have, and going to the gym only burns the energy produced but does not turn off the trigger that produces it.
We Need Something More
Enter meditation, breathwork, sitting still, and not vibrating. Sounds fun, am I right? Not so much for the one who feels like they’re about to jump out of their skin.
When I think about the first time I tried to meditate, I’m reminded of the scene from “What about Bob”, starring Bill Murray, a movie about a man with severe OCD.
In the scene I am conjuring, Murray is trying to get on an elevator, after seeing his new psychiatrist, played by Richard Dreyfus, who has instructed him to attack life in “baby steps”. This gives Murray, who is a paralyzed-multi-phobic personality, a false sense of courage to get on a packed elevator.
The doors close, and we hear Murray’s scream trail off as the elevator descends. This is how it felt for me the first time I meditated.
It Was a Journey to the Here and Now
It has been many years since that first meditation experience, and I have tried many different forms, seeking always experimenting, trying new breathing techniques, reading new studies and books, taking classes. All with some success. Then, as it always seems in life, I stumbled upon a new meditation.
I Could Never Float
Growing up, I was very skinny, still am, and with no body fat, I sink like a rock when I am in a pool. I have tried to teach myself to float, and up until now, could never do it.
My wife has had a good time at my expense watching me lay back in the water only to cut the surface like a knife through hot butter, sinking straight to the bottom.
I Finally Found the Solution
Then one night I was swimming and decided to hang off the side of the pool and into the water. I balanced my feet on the edge and laid back. To my surprise, it worked. I was floating. With my feet propped up and the air in my lungs, I could float. It was amazing!
Then Something Magical Happened
As I lay there that night, in the pool, my heart began to slow down. The chatter in my head began to quiet. My body began to relax. I could hear little creeks and snaps underwater. I could feel my body rise and fall with every breath, like a buoy in the ocean lifting and dropping from the waves.
I had developed the awareness of this body holding me — the cold air in my lungs, the warm water propping me up, just below the surface, outlining my face and shoulders and hands as I floated, weightless. My mind body and spirit were becoming as one. I was still.
The Silence in Stillness Is Golden
I laid there breathing in and out, and it was like a switch had been turned off. I could feel the pressure from the day disappear, and the calm wash over me.
The insulation from the water cupping my ears diminishing all distractions and unnecessary noise: Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out; body rise, body fall, body rise, body fall — floating, weightless, peaceful.
The Water of Life Was Key
When I was finished and ready to get out. I lifted my head from the water, holding the side of the pool. The silence was deafening, both inside my mind and the world around me. It was like someone had closed a door that separated me from a busy street, cocooning me in a silent warm room.
My nerves were relaxed. My inner self was at peace. I had found a new way to meditate, and it was more powerful than any other form of meditation I had experienced.
My New Ritual
So now I have incorporated this technique into my nightly routine; floating on my back, listening, feeling, and experiencing my breath through the medium of water. It has changed my life, my sleep, and my journey. It has brought me peace and stillness, and I wish the same for you.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.
“All the love in the world”
Joseph
