The Trap Of A Mediocre Life And How To Get Out Of It
Why you should stop listening to the self-help guru if you want to be truly happy in life
Pandemics have changed many things, including my few of life.
For the past few years, one of my biggest fears was having a mediocre life, having no impact whatsoever in the world, only to be a tiny spec of dust that means nothing to the universe.
Hence, any failure I had, haunted me for good.
What Is Mediocre
One of the articles that I found on basicsbybecca said that:
A mediocre life is one that feels like you’re just living and not really doing anything meaningful.
Another article from our fellow medium writer, Paul Scott, said that:
mediocre simply means having a normal income and set of experiences throughout ones life.
The last one is also from our fellow medium writer Nam Nguyen, who stated this:
I have a mediocre life. I have a well-paid, 9-to-5 job. I am living other people’s dreams but my own. I have a healthy, happy family. I am living in a first-world country where I earn double, or even triple to my peers. And I hate that I’m enjoying it — I am enjoying my mediocre life.
Can you see the similarities here?
Mediocre is normal, mediocre is insignificant, mediocre is having nothing meaningful, mediocre is living other people’s dreams. But at the same time, they live in different parts of the world, living a very different life.
So, essentially, what they called “normal” is different.
For someone living in a first-world country, earning more than $32/day is somewhat normal, while for someone who lives in a level 4 country (according to Hans Rosling's income level), earning merely $2/day is good enough.
For someone living in a first-world country, having a flat with a bathroom inside is normal. While for someone who lives in a level 4 country, having running water in their village is good enough.
So now, what is mediocre? If not, a standard made by others to justify our life, to make excuses for our ego and discontent.
It’s Only Mediocre If You Feel So
At some point, I realized that my fear of mediocre life is only my ego comparing my life with others.
I was fooled by the words of the business and self-help gurus:
Having a daily job is a shame; working from the office every day won’t get you anywhere, and living from a monthly paycheck is a disgrace (well, not literally, but at least this is how they portrayed them).
I thought when I gave up my dream to become the first Indonesian Dota 2 player who played in The International, I was a failure; When I failed to graduate in time from my college, I was a failure; And when was only living as an insurance underwriter, I was a failure.
It turns out I was; I am more than that. Here are the three things that opened my eyes and made me realize I was not living a mediocre life but a pretty awesome one.
Questioning My Bias
This article is the product of me questioning my own bias about what is “mediocre.”
Is it having no impact whatsoever? If yes, then to whom? Because We sure have impacted so many lives in our lives, such as our parents, friends, exes, wives, children, and maybe more.
If we’re judging our achievement based on others, if we’re comparing our $100 charity (which is a lot for me) with the $1million charity of some crazy rich people out there (which might feels nothing for them), we sure will feel minuscule. While actually, our $100 has just saved the life of someone who would kill themselves.
It’s not a matter of how much money you give, but how much you are willing to give from what you have.
In Mark 12: 43–44, Jesus said:
Calling his disciples to Him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything — all she had to live on.”
Therefore, I have never felt minuscule anymore, for the things I’ve done for my family, friends, and wife were all I’ve had at the time.
Dreams
Not many people get to pursue their dreams, even only momentary ones.
I had so many dreams throughout my life. Playing in the MLB, playing in The International, becoming a businessman and living a luxurious life, being a pro badminton player, and many more.
And I got to try to pursue all of that, even though, in the end, I realized it wasn’t my passion nor my talent, but now, I have no regret of not trying.
Do you know how many people get to pursue their dreams? I believe it’s not much. They are either too afraid that they will fail, or their circumstances don’t allow them to do so.
I feel blessed.
And now that I’ve realized that I don’t have to live other people's dreams, I got out of my job and took a step toward my current dream, to be a writer.
Happiness
A lot of people don’t even know what makes them truly happy. Hence, they follow what rich people say will bring happiness to them.
They pursue money all of their lives only to push their family and loved ones away. And in the end, they are left with nothing but cash and an empty heart.
So, instead of pursuing more money and a more luxurious life, I knew I had to make a change.
I quit the job that I had. A job that has taken so many times in my life every day to pursue a writing career where I can be with my loved ones whenever and wherever I want to; even better, I am doing what I love every day: writing, learning, and telling stories.
It was scary to leave my high-paying job, but I trust God and myself that in the end, if I am doing what I love and at least being good at it while having all my loved ones support me, I won’t ever fall short.
Being mediocre is not about the amount of money you make, not about the kind of car you drive or the kind of house you live in.
Some people live in the countryside and harvest corn every day, yet their lives feel full, while others work as a CEO of a company, driving a Chevy every day, yet they feel empty.
It is about what your dream in life is, your true one, not the one that’s created by listening to the fake gurus. It is about what makes you happy and feels loved. It is about being honest with yourself and living your life to the fullest.
Who knows, the only steps you need to transform your life from being mediocre to fulfilled is actually, a simple backstep.
Hi! I hope you find this article helpful. I’m Michael, a certified mindfulness practitioner (certified by Achology), writing about mindfulness and self-growth on Medium & Instagram.
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May you have a blissful life.
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