The Uselessness Of The Heart
I am skilled at making stuff boring and long. Another week of that.
Oh, the human heart. The majestic human heart. Oh, how wonderful you are! You are responsible for all the emotions I feel and how I behave and all that other stuff.
Wrong.
And that’s sort of what I am here to talk about, but first, let’s talk about that image. That’s not the heart. It’s supposed to be the heart symbol, but if we are being realistic, it doesn't even look like an actual heart.
Maybe if we look at it sideways?
Nope. It still doesn't look like a heart. So, why does the cross-section of Google Images look like this when I Google ‘heart’:
This is very suspicious.
P.S: I will admit that there is like a slight resemblance in shape, but I am trying to make a point here.
The point being that this symbol (aka heart shape) is actually supposed to represent love, leading a narrative of the heart getting credit for things it has no business with like, you know, causing your emotions.
Yup. I am sort of against the heart getting all that attention.
So, let’s explore some heart-related issues, starting with the heart symbol. Where does it come from? Why is it a thing? According to word on the street, it dates back to a really long time ago. The really fun thing about things that date back to before the Internet and proper bookkeeping is that there are always multiple accounts of them. For instance, there are some theories that say the heart symbol was coined to look like boobs or someone’s bumbum. Another story (a more widely accepted one) is that the symbol was coined from a now extinct plant called the Silphium. This was way back in the BC era. Silphium was extinct by the first year AD, which says a lot about how much people used it because humans didn't really get out of hand till a couple hundred years ago. Siphium was kind of like Ancient Greek/Roman version of ‘agbo’. They used it as a spice, they used it in their medicine, and, my personal favourite, they used it as birth control (although I am not completely sure how that would work). Another interesting theory about the origin of the heart symbol involves Aristotle, the wrong philosopher from last week’s post on gravity. That story suggests that the heart symbol dates to 13/14th century artists trying to visualize Aristotle’s description of the heart (he described the heart as being three-chambered and having a small dent in the middle. While we are talking about him, he also said the brain was located next to the heart and that the heart was made of hard flesh and was not easily injured. Obviously, he never felt heartbroken.)
The earliest use of the heart shape considered as a symbol of love was in an art work of French Artist Roman de la Poire dating to the 1250s. The painting depicts a man offering his lover his heart. Take a look.
Mind you, the painting is called “Romance of the pear”, so that’s actually probably a pear.
By the medieval ages, there were a lot of paintings using the heart symbol, and a lot of it involved people giving other people their hearts. Including this one.
The heart symbols were mostly inspired by Aristotle’s description. So yeah, by the 15th century, the heart was all but completely adopted as the symbol for love, and it only got worse after that( I blame Aristotle 👀). More images and depictions, and the heart symbol was spun around to be the orientation we have it right now with the dent at the top. By the 19th century when St. Valentine’s day became a thing, everyone already loved from their heart.
Loved from their heart.
Which is what I am here to debate. Well, it’s not really a debate. Everyone knows we don’t love from our hearts. Bottom or not. We love with our heads. I mean, it’s really easy to give the heart credit for love. It often plays a part in how love manifests. When you see someone you love, your heartbeat quickens and whatnot. And for some reason, we are convinced that the intense emotion we feel for someone else can only originate from the heart, rather than the brain where it actually comes from.
So, lets talk about love…
Just for a second.
I promise this isn't a love post.
So, what is love?
The neurochemical idea of love, not the ‘love is patient, love is kind’ talk the bible has to say. That stuff is nice and all to hear, but let’s be serious here.
Okay, so I am about to drop a 💩 ton of super sciencey love stuff on you, so prepare yourself. (Also write this down; I feel like you can make it into a pickup line at a bar.) It’s random knowledge time.
So, scientists have done some research on people in love (read as “spent a lot of time looking at brainwaves while showing people spicy pictures”), and during this research, they found that people in love registered some interesting activities in particular parts of their brain. Most notably the amygdala, the prefrontal cortex, and the ventral tegmental area . These names probably mean nothing to you, so let’s explore them a little. (still taking notes?)
The Amygdala (Army gala hehe hehehe)
It looks like this:
What does it do?
Well, it’s supposed to be the brain’s threat response system. Essentially 911 for the brain. When people fall in love, for some reason, this guy just decides to go on break and close shop. Probably why people in love are so stupid (sorry, not sorry.)
Prefrontal Cortex
It looks like this:
What does it do?
It’s kind of in control of reasoning. Do you know what happens to it when someone falls in love? Yup. It decides to do its job less enthusiastically.
Ventral Tegmental Area
This little thing here releases a large amount of a neurotransmitter called dopamine (aka the pleasure chemical aka the thing that kind of causes addiction to stuff). Essentially, your brain produces this neurotransmitter to make you want more of something. Hence, love is addictive.
There are a bunch of other neurotransmitters involved in the love making (I said what I said) process like oxytoxin, serotonin, and vasopressin, but I am not going into all of that because who even cares. Also my point has been made. The heart is useless. Especially when it comes to love.
This post ended up being much shorter than I expected it to be, which is sort of awkward because I promised a long and boring post. So to elongate the post just a little more, I am going to try something. There are apparently 27 emotions. Here is me describing situations that made me feel each of them.
Admiration
This one is simple. Me every time I see a Mercedes Benz
Adoration
The way I felt about this girl that was in my class in primary 4. She was the smartest person in the class and she won literally all the prices (except second and third, obviously)
Aesthetic Appreciation
How I feel on Saturday at 2pm when I have finally finished all my cleaning.
Amusement
Sometimes, short people stand on stools/tables/chairs to be able to say they are the same height with me and still end up being shorter. That’s pretty amusing.
Anxiety
Me, when I am driving next to a trailer for too long.
Awe
I really like hearing smart people talk about smart things with a lot of passion.
Awkwardness
When someone accidentally hits my groin which has happened a little too much. I mean, I’d typically ignore it if they didn't say sorry, but they always say sorry ughhh.
Boredom
Phone dead. Laptop dead. No light. Sunday afternoon.
Calmness
I am generally calm, but I am extra calm when I am broke and police stops me on the road. I ain’t got shit for you.
Confusion
Are you ever in traffic and suddenly no one moves anymore because everyone is moving in literally every direction and you are not sure what’s really going on. Happens a lot at the Dominos pizza junction on Herbert Macualay road in Lagos. Looks like this.
A more universal feeling of confusion would be when you wake up from an evening nap on Monday? Tuesday? Thursday? Last Week? 2098? doesn’t matter because you don’t know what day it is.
Craving
I am really in the mood for pounded yam and peppersoup at 12:02 am when i am writing this
Disgust
Making cornflakes with hot water.
Empathetic pain
Do you ever watch a video of a guy falling and slamming his groin into something and immediately feel the pain in your stomach on his behalf. Or when you are in a car and it goes over a bump that’s too high and that sound of the car’s transmission system scratching the ground enters into your body.
Entrancement
Me throughout my last relationship.
Envy
I get these ‘must be nice’ moments all the time. For instance, one of my friends said the only reason she hasn't bought a car is because she doesn't like driving in Lagos and I was like ‘must be nice.’ There are many reasons I haven’t bought a car.
Excitement
Growing up, I used to go on road trips semi-often to go and see my extended family. The entire drive, I used to swear to myself that I wasn’t interested in any of the brouhaha of going to see extended family, and when we got close to our destination I’d try really hard to frown my face. But when I saw them, I’d just start smiling for no damn good reason. I am convinced that was some form of excitement.
There’s also this weird feeling before you kiss someone for the first time that I believe is a combination of excitement and fear.
Fear
See italic text above.
Long moment between when my phone lands face first on the floor and when I check it.
Horror
Sitting on a wet chair
Interest
I am interested in why chickens never have consensual sex. This is a post I am currently working on
Joy
Credit alert.
Nostalgia
Romance
I don’t know how to feel romance. Have I been single that long?
Sadness
Have you ever failed at anything? Or the feeling when a friend becomes a stranger (not sure I actually know this one but people tweet it all the time so why not)
Satisfaction
The feeling of not being able to move after a meal. That’s a truly satisfying feeling.
Sexual desire
Two words — Megan Fox.
Sympathy
Manchester City 6 Chelsea 0
Triumph
The feeling I get after I finish a run or workout session.
That’s all for this week, guys. Thank you for reading all the way to the end.
Plug (Cool stuff on the internet)
So since this post was filled with so much talk about love, might as well keep it going. Check out this cool ted talk i saw that will help you find love- Mathematics of Love
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