Hope is the Oppressor of Fear
Everyday I attend AVID I feel as if my heart and mind have been expanded to further comprehend and appreciate the cultural differences of the human existence. I enter each tutoring session with the key concepts of my anthropological colloquium class ringing in my ears. I hear “equality through service”, “deconstructing the discourse”, and eliminating the cultural barrier that controls and constricts the prosperity of “the other”. I utilize these ideas as a source of guidance to transform these hourly events into a space of equal learning and growth for both myself and the students. About a month ago I experienced my most intense and influential encounter with an avid student, which surpassed any of my previous aspirations for connection and comprehension. The day already started off unique as I was attending a senior AVID class, instead of my typical juniors and Freshmen. As I sat down with a group of kids finishing their analysis of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest I was quickly bombarded by questions from these young adults nervous, confused, and excited about their forthcoming and greatest step into adulthood. They questioned my decision process regarding the selection of my current college, what classes may be the most beneficial for students unsure of their future career path, and my general sentiments going into this new stage of my life. But throughout this intensive questioning on Latina student remained quiet. After I was able to get the study group back on topic, I discretely found an appropriate time to converse with this timid student one on one. I asked her how she was feeling about this upcoming transition into a higher education and she responded with a shrug. She told me that she had recently been denied by the SFU nursing program, and, in response, was questioning her general decision to go to college. She told me that no one in her family had attended college, so their would be little disappointment or shock if she chose the direct path into the work force. This story sounded all too familiar to me. In class we had discussed the systematic racism that creates a disadvantage within that Latino culture in not only resources but in political and social advantages as well. In modern day society there is an imbalance in what is expected of an adolescent of the dominant white race in comparison to a young “racial minority”. This country displays a natural presumption for the educational and economic success of a young white student, while members of the Latino community are often presumed and expected to follow the stereotype of low paying jobs to accompany and continue this cycle of cultural poverty and detriment. I told this young student that the purpose of a satisfying life is not to follow expectations that society puts forth, but to mold your own understanding of what you can and should be. Of course it will always be easier to play into this role that society influences and expects, but was it really what she wants? In the end the only this stopping her from reaching her goal of being a nurse was herself. After this discussion I watched the student be overcome with a light of hope. She is now looking into community colleges with the best nursing program and continuing her path towards a career as a registered nurse. I will never forget this day at AVID as it enhanced my understanding of the “white privilege” that encapsulates of areas of American society.
After watching Clint Smith’s TED talk on “the danger of silence”, I am so glad that I fought with this student’s decreasing will power to succeed. In this video Smith states that “Silence is the residue of fear” At times I find myself overcome with the desire for these students to see me as a peer and as symbol of easily accessible guidance that sometimes ignore comments that undermine the purpose of their education in the first place. I hear them insulting their math classes, insulting their teacher, and perhaps even insulting the importance of AVID, and I can not truthfully say that I have not intervened as much as I should. This video made me realize that my job to these kids is not to be a peer, but a mentor. I need to show them the importance of all of these “unnecessary” equations or homework assignments, is not to provide them with entertainment, but to be building blocks toward their future education. I need to tell them that a prosperous life is not always about doing what you want, but doing what you need. Now, sitting at this laptop, I have now made a promise myself and these students that no one who enters my path will be left to doubt themselves or the importance of this important little challenges in life.
Prior to entering this colloquium class I floated along in my bubble or privilege that I believed equally encapsulated the young adults surrounding me. I took for granted the supportive and resourceful environment for which I grew up in. I thought that every person my age faced the same challenges in school, and therefore all had an equal chance in achieving a successful future. After delving into the complicated, yet prominent disadvantages placed onto American citizens considered to be the “other”, I now know how naïve I had been. The truth is that this country favors its citizens based on the color of their skin, and for me to sit back and assume that this not a problem for adolescent minorities, is to accept this systemic racism at its full value. I now know to never accept something just because it is “the way things are”. From now on I will never remain silent about issues I feel to be unjust. I will fight for what I believe in and never allow my voice to be intimidated by fear.
