Keep Going.
What I love about my community partner is the various different people I encounter. Recently, I learned from one of the HIV testers, Fernando, that he is an undocumented immigrant from Venezuela. He was telling me about his story of growing up there and attending university, and why he wanted to leave. Venezuela, like many countries, has a corrupt government that doesn’t put the people first, and Fernando wanted to find better opportunities to be an advocate for people and help them provide the basic services they needed. He arrived in Marin County nearly a year ago, and has been working with Marin AIDS Project ever since. I found Fernando not only to be a sweet and funny guy to work with, but inspirational as well. His narrative brought back a connection for me well in the beginning of the semester about positionality. I can only imagine how he feels about being an immigrant here while participating in the community work that he does. However, in most people’s eyes, I would assume that Fernando would not be well-respected. His advocacy work would be overshadowed by his status as an immigrant. Although he is here on a work visa, and he plans to attain citizenship, that stigma is probably still following him. Being an illegal immigrant here is like being treated as a second-class citizen, and this contributes to systematic inequality because it’s like saying no one else except those from the U.S. can accomplish things in the U.S.. Championing diversity is important for us to grow as people, which includes giving immigrants the same opportunities.
“We spend so much time listening to the things people are saying that we rarely pay attention to the things they don’t.” This is a powerful quote from Clint Smith’s Ted Talk about the danger of silence. I think his primary message is to not take things seen at face value. For example, a homeless person just hoping to be acknowledged is viewed as a disturbance to society, and most people choose to remain silent and go about their business. However, at my community partner, I don’t have the choice to remain silent and go about my business. My role as receptionist allows me to encounter people that walk in and ask for the needle exchange or the pantry. A lot of these people I see have stories that speak for themselves based on their appearance, so I could easily fall into the trap of jumping to conclusions about that person and judge them unfairly. However, I allow them to tell their stories at their freewill and I try to create an attitude for myself that they don’t have to worry about feeling judged by me. Paying attention means looking out for social cues and making sure I don’t make the person feel uncomfortable. The people I deal with already feel marginalized for having HIV or even simply for needing a service and being dependent on an organization, stripping away self-sufficiency. It would cause more damage to them to ignore them for who they are. Instead of being silent, I decide to be present. This doesn’t mean I have to talk; I have to listen. Therefore, my critical consciousness must state the truth of who suffers with HIV: anyone is prone to it. The stereotype that HIV is a ‘gay disease’ has existed for decades, and to an extent exists today. For my organization, it also serves as a safe space for the LGBT community, with support groups and counseling. So to believe the main stereotype is easy to assume, but is not totally true.
The knowledge I have gained from this experience is that marginalization can occur in the most subtle ways, and standing up for change never stops. I don’t think three months at MAP is enough for me to truly make an impact. To quote Glass, “Revolutionary hope identifies possible actions despite situational limits; it recognizes that justice requires ongoing work and struggle. It is precisely the embodiment of this work and struggle in a way of life that avoids the trap of despair” (338). I’ve decided to continue my work at MAP for as long as possible so I can continue to be present and be open to whatever outcome presents itself. This kind of advocacy is sincerely meaningful to me, and I feel carrying on this work will enhance the knowledge I have already acquired and benefit me through my life, especially if I can impact others positively.
