Living as a Shadow
A Critical Reflection on Illegal: Reflections of an Undocumented Immigrant by José Angel N.
What?
In Illegal: Reflections of an Undocumented Immigrant, José Angel N. describes the journey and hardship of being an undocumented immigrant in America. Throughout the novel, José uses several words to describe himself and his thoughts on how others may perceive him. Some of the words he uses are: illegal, intruder, shadow, alien, and prowler. His diction portrays the negative connotation that many individuals perceive immigrants as. By calling himself these names it proves to the reader that this generalization of undocumented immigrants is discrimination. José states, “…I can never feel completely at ease. I can’t help feeling like an intruder” (19). This mindset is also evident in what José chose to title his novel “Illegal”. By choosing the word “illegal” José’s story catches the attention of his readers while also revealing the preconceived negativity that is associated with the term. José also proves that,
“Whoever got the idea of identifying foreigners with the label of “alien resident” knew exactly what he was doing. A green card may grant you legal status, but it doesn’t take away the stigma of alienation. It doesn’t guarantee your integration in society” (62).
Throughout his novel, José expresses his constant fear of being caught and his desire to learn English to fit in. He pursues education and works in various jobs to help sustain his life in America. He later states, “Now I am a sneaky shadow wandering about in the fairyland of the American middle class. I have mastered the art of elusiveness. I have learned both to operate under the radar and to be alert at once” (82). His experience in America can be seen as a success. But to get to where he is today José encountered many hardships.
During the beginning of his life in America, Congress passed a law named, the Real ID Act, which made it a requirement for individuals to present their Social Security number when having their driver’s license renewed. This law hindered José’s chance of renewing his real driver’s license since his Social Security number was not real. This led José to having to get a fake driver’s license with the constant fear of being pulled over while on the road. This also led to José Angel using his matricula (document from the Mexican government that states an individual’s status as undocumented) when asked for his ID. Without having a valid ID and Social Security number, José was not allowed to travel out of the country and even enter the federal building for his job, since they check identification.
“At the restaurant, everyone knew that everyone else was undocumented, and thus there was nothing to hide. The same way my coworkers at the restaurant had no reason to think that any of us had legal papers, at my current job no one would suspect that an undocumented lurks among them” (81).
After achieving his master’s degree in literature and a bachelor’s in philosophy, a new law was enacted that “allowed undocumented immigrants to attend public colleges in Illinois to pay in-state tuition” (53). With this new opportunity, José Angel decided that he wished to study law. After saving money and studying for the LSAT preparation course, José Angel realized that it was a requirement to show an identification card and Social Security number to take the LSAT. He shelved his books and never went to the test.
Living in constant fear of being caught and having to reject new opportunities because of his legal status, José has used these experiences to exemplify the struggles many other undocumented immigrants may be facing today.
So What?
Living in a country engulfed in the negative discourse of “illegal” immigrants, has led José to living and accepting the stigma. “Thus my first years in the United States were a constant struggle not only with the language I wished to learn, but also with my surroundings. With my whole background” (64). Yet through the many laws that hinder some opportunities, José experiences other open doors to success in America. He managed to obtain two jobs and eventually write this novel. Even with the successes he has achieved, Jose explains in his novel the paradoxical effect of how his accomplishments were still countered with the constant unease of daily living.
“I then realized the highly paradoxical nature of my endeavor. Just as I had many years earlier, I was again trying to sneak into a space whose main rule was my exclusion. My clandestine crossing of the border had delivered me safely to the gates of economic solvency and to the path to self-fulfillment. But my mobility was limited. The liberty I had found was merely an illusion” (55).
José also states, “I should’ve been born a late Greek, a Roman, an Indian so that I could have been schooled in the arts of the flesh, of stoicism and asceticism all at once. But instead, I was born a Mexican” (29) and other sayings that convey his sorrow of being who he is based on his legal status. José expresses, “I belong out in the open. My work was physical rather than mental. My brotherhood was with the massive lawn mower” (50). This statement shows how the negative stigma with his legality has caused him to belittle himself.
This mindset affects the thousands of undocumented immigrants. Even with all the achievements José has made during his time in America, he conveyed his grief regarding his status and demeaned himself through the words and imagery he expressed throughout his novel.
Now What?
After reading José Angel’s memoir, I am enlightened to the constant fear and struggle it is to be an undocumented immigrant in America. Reading about his journey across the border and later becoming successful in pursuing education, obtaining different careers, and later thinking about the idea of writing this novel was truly admirable. The eloquence of his writing painted a vivid story in my mind of how possibly thousands of immigrants face daily life in America. I have only heard about the hardship of being an undocumented immigrant from dramatized films or from the news, but I have never taken the time to learn about the laws that affect immigrants or thought about the immense fear individuals may have from being caught by authorities. José exemplifies the American dream by stating,
“Upon arriving in the United States, I was immediately seduced by what seemed to be unlimited wealth. The serpentine shape of the highways. The huge, verdant suburban lawns. The glaring shopping malls. The skyscrapers. The enthusiasm and productivity of the people” (61).
Political discourse on the news has definitely affected my thinking about immigrants in America. Prior to Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, I have no recollection of ever thinking about undocumented immigrants as a threat to our society. When I first heard about Trump’s statements about how “Mexico isn’t sending their best people,” I immediately felt disturbed by his negative comments. Many laws and policies may become repealed regarding immigration during Trump’s presidency, such as the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA). Trump’s speeches regarding the need to build a wall between us and Mexico has opened a door for some Americans to express their agreement with Trump’s allegations that immigrants are “rapists and bad people”. The discourse portrayed on the news and media has affected all Americans. It is up to the individual to agree with his statements or not.
After learning about the history of the United States in high school, I believed that our country would never regress to times of hatred and violence. Now I am not sure anymore.
