Should I browse for dates online like I browse for music?


Since the advent of on-demand, online music streaming services like Spotify and Rdio, I have fallen in love with music all over again (mostly because I can enjoy it at a price I can afford). I follow my favourite artists. I receive suggestions on similar artists I might enjoy. I read biographies. I sample small snippets of new artists’ most popular songs. I examine cover art. It’s hard to say exactly what I’ll find or what I’ll fall in love with, but even when I come up empty-handed, I feel enriched by the process.

Contrast my music browsing with my online dating experiences: in many ways, the idea is the same. I “follow” activity for the profiles of people who interest me. I receive suggestions of other people with similar interests that I might enjoy. I initiate small online chats with promising candidates. I make first impressions based on profile pictures. I browse looking for people with that certain X factor that draws me in. However, unlike my music browsing experience, I leave the online dating arena feeling more disconnected, more pessimistic, and often, slightly sullied for my experience.

All of this makes me wish my heart and my brain could agree on the ground rules and expectations of the average internet dating interaction, or at least extract useful information from this analogy that would lead to me developing a better profile that potential suitors would find more enticing. Are there lessons to be learned, aside from the fact that people shouldn’t be objectified as soundbites to be consumed as such?

  1. Library size often matters, unless you know your niche well.
  2. Most of what we browse is of no interest to us, not because it is inherently bad, but because it doesn’t suit our personal taste.
  3. You have to listen to a lot of crap to find the hidden gems.
  4. There is a lot more pleasure to be gained in being the person to find a hidden gem first than to jump on the bandwagon of what’s currently in vogue (though it’s generally popular for a reason).
  5. Sometimes you need to listen to an artist more than once, or across an album, to truly appreciate their genius and value.
  6. Although it’s about the music in the end, in a sea of choice, good cover art draws attention to good content.