Outbox: September 22–28
September 22, 2014
My cousin, after a long battle with depression, took his life this past weekend. It has been, unsurprisingly, a difficult time for the whole family, but we have made conscious efforts to focus on the joys we were able to have with him, and the lovely memories we created together and that we will always have.
I had not seen my cousin for a couple of months, but every time we did get to spend time together, he was always excited, enthused about the many things going on in my life. He would ask me about work, life, love, and he would be exuberant whenever I would share good news.
Today, while I was sitting with my aunt, his mother, she turned to me and thanked me. I asked her why, and she smiled as she told me that my cousin, upon hearing the news of my engagement, had beamed in delight. He had told my aunt that it was among the best news he had ever heard, and that he was bursting with happiness for me. She thanked me because my news had made him smile, widely and genuinely, and that smile is what she remembers of him now.
- How to make the world’s best paper airplanes. When I was younger, I was a master at the paper plane; I loved the idea of sending something into the sky, however small it was.
- Be polite with your books. A rumination on bookspotting, book-gifting, book-shelving, and literary and social etiquette.
- I can not fathom just how life would change if I had a stroke at 33. Despite my family history of heart disease, I still feel too young to be devastated by such illness; it is perhaps a naive assumption.
September 23, 2014
This I have learned over the past two days: when someone passes away in “avoidable” circumstances, there is a propensity, an inclination, to assign blame. This assignation is amorphous and untargeted. People make up reasons to assign blame, and then make up the recipients of that blame. Sometimes that blame is externalized, sometimes, it is directed inwards. People blame others, blame the system, blame god, blame time, blame themselves.
This cycle of blame doesn’t help anyone. Assigning blame, especially when we are grasping at that blame as a coping mechanism because there is nothing to blame for or about, does not make things better. Blame does not help us grieve, help us heal. This is a reminder I have echoed to my family, to myself, repeatedly over the past few days. Let us help ourselves, rather than try to drag others down in our grief.
- A guide to American college football, the multibillion-dollar business where the labor is free. Between all the troubles of the NFL and the long-running atrocity that is the NCAA system, football is in the midst of a crisis.
- A debt-to-slave pipeline is building you a World Cup stadium. They should just go ahead and take the World Cup away from Qatar; there is nothing good coming of this situation.
- “The trouble with writing is that it is often a roller coaster pitching us between grandiosity and despair.”
September 24, 2014
I don’t do well with menus. I love looking at them, and exploring all the components that make up each dish, and trying to gleam a little bit about the personality of the chef based on what they decide to list on their menu and how they decide to describe each item. I love the design of menus, and enjoy trying to figure out why certain decisions were made around typography, layout, shape, and size.
I don’t however, do well with making a decision on what to eat. I’d much rather someone present me with food that they feel I would enjoy, and surprise me each time a new dish is presented on the table. Maybe it’s because I’m indecisive, but I like to say that the real reason is that I like to trust others with what they do best. The chef knows her menu better than I do; I trust in her skill, decision-making, and mood.
- Why wildfires in the West are on the rise. If you want to learn about the world and global issues in a way that is entertaining and well-explained, you really should follow Andy Warner on Medium.
- It’s finally time to stop caring about Lauryn Hill. That paragraph towards the end of the article about loving someone (musician or otherwise) that doesn’t love you back is poignant.
- We worry so much about the numbers around us and on quantifying our success, we sometimes forget about what it all means. Here’s a great post by danah boyd on her relationship to statistics.
- How to travel, according to Anthony Bourdain. Topical, as I start to plan my vacation for next month.
September 25, 2014
There is a difference between loneliness and being alone. For the most part, I am good at being alone — at least, I am now; when I was younger, it was harder for me — and yet I hardly ever feel lonely. There is always a sense, inside, that there is someone with me (figuratively) and I have nothing to worry about.
Tonight, I had a flash of loneliness. I am not sure if it was because my love has gone west for two weeks and I was missing her, or because I am probably coming down with a cold and illness, however slight, requires company, but there was a brief moment when I realized I wasn’t just alone, but lonely.
The feeling of loneliness passed, quickly. It always does, when it comes, infrequent as that may be.
- You might not care about competitive swimming, but you should care about Katie Ledecky. She’s not just good, she’s changing what the definition of “good” is.
- Why men never remember anything. An interesting mix of science and upbringing.
- An unofficial ranking of some of the Boyz II Men mid-song monologues. 50 Candles was my jam all through high school.
- Illustrated posters highlight different suits worn by Leonardo DiCaprio. The man has a knack for picking roles that require him to wear really nice clothes.
September 26, 2014
- Three things I enjoy, all in one video: slam poetry, Samuel L Jackson, and Boy Meets World.
- What is it you do or make only for yourself? See what other people have to say when asked this question.
- Sorry I’m not sorry. A reflection on how and why we say “sorry” so very often these days, and why it’s okay.
September 27, 2014
Susan Poizner of Orchard People created a short recap video of the apple tasting event I helped host today, and was reminded that I really don’t like being in front of a camera. I do, however, love apples — and was extremely honored to be asked to help out at this wonderful community event. (Thanks, Suzanne!)
- Brazilian art duo Os Gemeos has created a stunning 360 degree mural in Vancouver, and I can’t wait to see it when I go to visit in a few months.
- Understanding Jean Baudrillard with pumpkin spice lattes. The best way to explain sociological and philosophical theory is through the lens of food and popular culture.
September 28, 2014
Today, I spent six hours lying in the hammock in my backyard, soaking up the abnormally-hot September sun while reading non-fiction. Life can be ridiculously indulgent, sometimes.
