A SQUISHY SQUEEZE STATE OF AFFAIRS
(Inspired by R. Sridhar’s Linkedin post.)
My first flight, and I was extremely excited. I always wanted to fly on a plane, and here was an opportunity.
My manager called and asked me to visit the head office for a meeting. When the unexpected happens, the joy does multiply.
I finished packing the night before and couldn’t sleep much. The first time.
I arrived at the airport well ahead of time. I spent the entire three hours walking, gawking, and observing everything around — like a kid in a candy store. I was the first on the airplane, and I noticed everything. The colour of the seats, the hostess, the smiles, the pathway, the smell.
I wanted a window seat but had to settle for the middle seat. I could still look out the window. So, it was OK. The first time, such things are forgiven! Who knows, I could have pretty pretty neighbours. Something to talk to my friends about. :)
A giant of a man entered the aircraft. He must be training for the Olympics, I thought. Tight jeans, tight tee, showing off his biceps, I think his face wouldn’t have seen a smile in ages. My eyes were fixated at the door, looking at every passenger boarding.
The voice said move, and I looked up. It was our giant who had the window seat next to me. I moved a bit as his butt grazed my face as he made his way to his seat. As he settled down, I realized I will have to make do with only half a seat. Hmmm…
Within a minute, the armrest war began. It was a no contest. I was no David. He was all Goliath.
And slingshots were not allowed inside a flight. No fight.
All aboard. Almost. Just as the final announcement came in, one person rushed in.
He was wet all over. He must have run a lot to catch this flight. He was all sweaty, frumpy, and in a belligerent mood, as if the airline was responsible for him coming late. What a scene he created as he moved forward.
It wasn’t my day. He was my other neighbour.
I was small and frail. Both my neighbours were at least twice my size.
They overflowed into my seat, despite the armrest. This was a different kind of wedgie, but here I was.
Is this how my first flight experience was to be?
Squished and squeezed.
Burps and farts on one side. On the other side, wonderful wafts of sweaty underarms assaulting my nostrils….
When the food arrived, I had to say no. No way. I did not want to throw up on my first flight.
With half the distance yet to be covered, I had to get out. Get out of the seat and my situation, not the flight.
I went to the restroom.
Never before had the loo smelt so heavenly, in comparison to what I went through.
I stood outside the loo for quite some time after finishing my job. I had to walk back but had no desire to. It was like that Monday morning walk to school. Especially when you hadn’t done any homework or exercises…..
The food cart was blocking my path. Thank god for small mercies.
The air hostess was ever knowing. She smiled and pointed to an empty seat.
She said YES.
A different kind of yes, but it had the same effect on my hormones!
I occupied the seat, a window seat. With NO NEIGHBOURS…..
This must be god’s work, and I was 30,000 feet closer to that power :)
For this magic to happen, I had to get out of the sticky situation I was in.
I had to move my butt out to enable the universe to conspire.
If you are wallowing in shit and whining, do something. Fast.
We don’t get to choose what happens to us. Only what we do with it.
A dialogue from “Person of Interest”.
- All stories in this “52” series:
1. The Cycle Wheel
2. The strong polish their fangs and the weak….
5. What happens to nice guys?
7. Growth: How did she do it?
9. When would you fire yourself?
11. What happened to soft-spoken Radha?
12. Simplicity needs common sense, not education!
14. Rushing to Conclu….
17. The importance of competition
21. A division with minimal acrimony?
22. The Everest sighting that turned out to be…
25. What does it take to win? RAHUL PART 1
26. Vagabonding as a way of life RAHUL PART 2
27. Which past experiences are you mixing up? RAHUL PART3
Pravin Shekar is an outlier marketer, parallel entrepreneur and a raconteur.
Connect with me at Outlier @PravinShekar.com
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Pravin is the author of multiple books: http://tiny.cc/PravinShekarBooks
Devil Does Care, Marketing lessons from The Art of War, Marketing lessons from Mythology, Getting paid to speak, a Virtual Summit Playbook, Climb your way out of hell, a collection of travel pics/romantic poems, and stories from the heart!
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