ANGER ANGER: AN EPISODE AND A FABLE
This is the eleventh in the series of alternative learning from Krav Maga.
EPISODE: THE ACCIDENT
You fight with your wife. Something she said or did irked you no end. This cannot happen early in the morning. You are livid.
All efforts to pacify you are in vain. You can only appease if the other part is also inclined so.
No, you want to fight. Anger is frothing over! You leave the house in a huff.
Usually, a slow and steady driver, today it is your emotions driving the car. You are going fast, cutting fast turns, overtaking slower-moving vehicles.
The thought that plays in your mind:
Anybody driving faster than me is a maniac.
Anybody driving slower than me is a moron!
Anger from your house travels with you in the car!
The inevitable has to happen. You get involved in an accident. Of course, it’s not your fault. When is it ever?
The heat of the moment makes you get out of the car and confront the other driver. Words are spoken. They get converted into shouts.
And then… they lead to action. In a fit of anger, you slap the other person.
It is late evening when your wife and lawyer come down to the police station to get you out.
FABLE: THE KING AND I
The villagers were scared to venture out. They needed to get to the rest to collect firewood and water. For the last few days, though, a snake was lying on the path and terrorizing all of them. Some were chased, some bitten.
This was an aggressive snake that had decided that the path was its territory. That’s the way King Cobras are. Ferocious, strong, and quick to anger. The elders assembled in the center of the village. One young man was “volunteered” to venture out.
His role was to go to the next village and bring a Saadhu (monk) to solve the problem. He returned with the monk.
As they were returning to the village, the snake reared up, ready to attack them. The young man was terrified and took several steps back.
The monk held his ground. The snake moved towards him and reared up to its full height. The King was now taller than the monk. The monk stayed still and kept staring back at the snake.
Both were in this state for quite some time. It was as if they were communicating through vision.They were.
The monk asked the snake about what happened. The snake replied that someone from the village had killed his consort. So, this was his way of taking revenge.
The monk put some sense into the snake that being passive is also a life skill. Perhaps, the snake can look at that side of life. Whatever revenge was required was already done.
One doesn’t need to bite all the time!
This synoptic state continued for some time before the snake lowered itself at the monk’s feet as if seeking his blessings. It then slithered away, off the path and into the jungle.
The villagers were delighted. They invited the monk to stay a few days. He refused as he had a small pilgrimage planned.
Several days later, this pilgrimage brought the monk through the same route. He was shocked to see the King snake severely injured, to the point of death. He rushed to the aid and asked what happened.
The snake looked at him and said, it’s all your fault!. The monk was taken aback.
“After your advice, I stopped troubling the villagers. I lived life in my way. Whenever I saw people coming down the path, I slithered away. Some kids got bold and chased me. Some threw stones. Over time, all of them thought I was some play tool. One gang of boys attacked me earlier today, and I could not escape soon. This is what being passive brought me!”
The monk looked at the snake and nodded his head from side to side. O King,
I asked you not to bite and trouble. I didn’t say, DON’T HISS!
“ANGER must be fully in your control.” You need to show aggression when you want and switch off to normal when you want. Anger must be used objectively: A key Krav Maga lesson.
It is easy to be provoked into fighting or reacting. Therefore, anger must be controlled. Showing aggression is different from being aggressive (physically or digitally!).
Let us look at the earlier episode from a different lens.
You fight in the house. Instead of rushing out, you take some time to cool down. You decide to walk to work. There is a confrontation at work, and you smile back. You smile and tell the other person that you shall respond, but not now.
How do we react to business news and decisions? Especially those that don’t go our way! Is there a way to register our response without our anger getting in the way? Asking for time to cool off, and respond appropriately?
Decisions and actions taken when angry tend to be ……..
This is the eleventh in the series of learning from Krav Maga.
Pravin Shekar is an outlier marketer, parallel entrepreneur and a raconteur.
mic @ PravinShekar.com .
For creative collusions, join: http://bit.ly/JoinMyOutlierTribe
Pravin is the author of seven books: Devil Does Care, Marketing lessons from Mythology, Getting paid to speak, a Virtual Summit Playbook, Climb your way out of hell & a collection of travel pics/romantic poems, and stories from the heart!
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