An Open Letter to Tina Fey (or “Can High School Be Over Already?”)
Is the film MEAN GIRLS, so often cited by my generation, really just a metaphor for life?
By Maria Afonso
Dear Tina, screenwriter of Mean Girls (2004):
I often find myself waking up in the middle of the night, stressed and frustrated, dreaming of places I no longer need to go to, of tests I no longer need to take, and of people I haven’t seen in almost ten years. Yet, in the back of my mind, that scenario is still way too familiar.
I don’t think I had a particularly traumatizing high school experience. I was a bit of a nerd. I was bullied just a tad more than occasionally. My classmates did not become my life-long friends and, honestly, I am uninterested in seeing most of them again. I guess that’s not a terrible experience — it’s just how high school turns out for a lot of people.
The funny thing is, I don’t feel as though I’ve ever really left high school.
I’m currently on the third year of my Ph.D., and in my (not-so) charming naivety, I had expected that academia and, young adult postgraduates in particular, would not show the same interpersonal dynamics of 16 year-olds.
Oh boy, was I wrong.
I’d like to clarify that being a part of academia can be an extremely rewarding experience: you’re allowed to develop your critical thinking skills, and for better or worse, you’re often independent to make decisions that will alter the course of your postgraduate studies. Also, I am lucky to be part of a small but amazing team, to have fabulous supervisors, and to be surrounded by very intelligent people. The cherry on top? My desk has a beautiful view over North Wales (on days when the weather is, you know, a little less British). Overall, it’s pretty cool.
And yet…
In a Ph.D. program is now okay to embrace my inner (and outer) nerd, but I still get bullied on occasion, and I definitely will not become life-long friends with many of my peers.
Yes, for every Cady — and, trust me, Cadys exist in academia — there is always a Regina who will be whipping around her luscious blonde locks and who has the innate ability to flip the conversation her way.
You may be talking about grant applications or PCR troubleshooting, but Regina? She’ll be talking about herself. She’s the one who’ll ignore you on Mondays, just to be incredibly friendly towards you on Thursdays simply because either she needs a favour or, more often, because important people are watching as she drops the we-should-totally-organize-a-get-together-of-some-sorts line, never to mention it again.
Regina 2.0 — probably smarter than the original and not always female — still manages to manipulate some to believe she’s worth the attention. The duped parties are usually as obnoxious and self-centered as she is. These people, with whom you have occasionally socialized and are perfectly cordial towards, will suddenly unfriend/unfollow you on social media. And now, for no apparent reason, you will be invisible to them, until that awkward moment, when you “walked up to people and realized they were just talking about you.”
Luckily, for every “Regina, PhD student,” there’s also a small group of “the greatest people you will ever meet” — if you are lucky enough to find them. With them, you won’t have to worry about “the plastics, PhD students” who may try to undermine you or kill your cool. Or, at least, with these people, you’ll have colleagues with whom you can vent.
Mean Girls, so often cited by my generation, is a funny and accurate insight into many teenage girls’ experiences with high school cliques. I thank you for that wisdom, Tina. But please, be honest: was this really just a metaphor for life? Do we ever really leave high school?
If you enjoyed this, please hit the green “Recommend” button below so others might also enjoy it.
