When you travel far away, coming home isn’t always easy
Traveling far away and returning home is not the same as having never left. The travel itself changes you and opens your mind to new ideas, new ways of doing things (even if they are old and traditional in their country of origin), and can help you learn a lot about yourself.
Yes, you might get homesick and crave the comfort and familiarity of home, especially when you have been away for a long time. Even when our daily routines are disrupted, we crave the comfort of it and want it back, regardless of whether or not we actually liked the routine while we were in it.
But, the actual coming home can be such a challenge.
When you travel — particularly when you have a really transformative experience in a relatively short amount of time — coming home is difficult. Your friends and family stayed in their routines and are relatively unchanged from when you left. You come back to a roommate who has the same on-again, off-again boyfriend and is dealing with the same struggles she had when you left. Your classes or projects are similar (if not the same), and the physical space is the same.
Yet, how you see all of that has completely changed.
What used to be a fun Taco Tuesday now looks like the most gluttonous and wasteful thing you’ve ever seen — because your stay in India and experiencing poverty and hunger has changed you. You had heard of poverty in developing countries like India, but now you have experienced it. That extreme poverty has a face — the face of young girl in a pink dress picking her way over a mountain of garbage — and an image etched into your brain that you can never forget.
Coming home, the box you left behind didn’t change — but you certainly did.
You don’t fit into the space — “the box” — you left behind. Your values changed.
When you come back to the same work you left behind, it suddenly seems off to you. Your co-workers are sharing their same gossip as when you left and although you used to join in, it isn’t quite the same as it used to be. Your humor is a little different. Your perspective has changed. You’ve become more understanding or more forgiving.
You’ve changed.
You want to share your experiences and what you’ve learned, but all but your closest friends lose interest quickly. You want to explain why you suddenly get so frustrated when people leave the water running or complain that it tastes bad; but how do you explain to someone who has never been thirsty, what it’s like to not have access to clean water? How do you explain the heartbreak of a little Ghanaian girl tugging on your shirt, asking you for your last sip of water because she was so thirsty?
You’ve changed.
You always come back changed. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes only a little.
When you come back, you come back with your lungs and cells filled with the air of other places, your body is full of the foods you ate, and your feet are calloused with the footsteps you left on foreign ground. In a short time, you saw and experienced more than you ever thought possible. Long-held beliefs can be overturned in that short time, you discover new ways of doing things, and you come away with more understanding — and more questions — than you ever had before.
And the more you travel, the more you change.
And suddenly, the ends of the earth become familiar. Alongside news of the persecution of the Rohingya in Myanmar, you remember the long conversations with local monks and students — you remember them as the kindest and most generous people you have ever met.
Nelson Mandela passes and Archbishop Desmond Tutu presides over his funeral on the world stage; all you can think about is “Grandpa Arch’s” laugh, dancing with him, and walking him to Palm Sunday mass.
That’s why coming home to the box you left behind is so hard. You no longer fit in a box. But, true friends will give you the space and the time to create a new space for yourself at home — and they will grow with you as you continue to change.
Leana’s an avid world traveler who has been to over 40 countries and will be venturing to her 7th continent in 2022. She believes in ubuntu and that adventures make life worth living. To follow her journey as a plus-sized woman with unquenchable wanderlust as she continues to seek out all that the world has to offer, you can check out The Overweight Adventurer.
