TPS Real Talk: Managing Stress
It is January and our social media feeds have filled with “New Year, new me” memes and influencers sharing their goals for the months ahead. While resolutions are beginning to be a thing of the past, we wanted to have a raw conversation about stress and share some experiences of how we at TPS are working to improve our own health. The American Psychological Association (APA) conducted their yearly Stress in AmericaTM survey, stating, “It is the unusual combination of these factors and the persistent drumbeat of a crisis that shows no sign of abating that is leading APA to sound the alarm: We are facing a national mental health crisis that could yield serious health and social consequences for years to come.”
There is no denying that stress levels have increased. We are living in unprecedented times. We are isolated and normal life is a thing of the past. We can no longer ignore the injustices that people of color are experiencing in our country. The combination of it all has launched our stress and anxiety to levels we thought we’d never experience. At the beginning of the pandemic, I read a post about how military families were used to being isolated from their families and that our resiliency has prepared us for situations like this. But as we are quickly approaching a year of a raging global pandemic, many of us are realizing the stress has caught up with us. As I write this article, I can feel my muscles squeezing on my spine. My body is telling me I’ve hit a wall. I need to make managing my stress a priority. So what do I do? I turn to my community and I ask, “how are you managing your stress?”
Today we are joined by a stellar group of women who are bravely sharing their experiences of stress and their journeys to if not manage it, to work to recognize it. Like any mental health topic, how we experience and deal with stress is unique, specific to our situations, and our bodies.
Let’s jump in!
How do you recognize your stress levels? What do you do to help manage your stress?
Tonya Nagle, PhD: I know I am stressed when I begin to physically feel overwhelmed and I am not doing something physical. I usually manage that by doing something physical to help me get my head clear and then I go to the plan to see where my time is going, what is causing me to stress out, and what I can realistically do.
Justine Evirs: I know I am stressed when my adrenaline kicks in. I react to stress by staying busy. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and C-PTSD so I typically try to “control” the things that are stressing me out.
Nikki Schmidt: I live in a constant go, go, go mode, so when I hit the point of feeling stress, it can sometimes creep up on me. I have gotten increasingly better at recognizing the signs in myself — lack of focus, emotional responses, being overwhelmed — and know it is time to slow it way down. Managing my stress is about self-care and doing things that bring me joy, setting aside the stress where I can.
Khinna Kaminske: When my heart races, my breath quickens, and I feel my muscles want to take action. I know that not all stress is bad, but it has taken me time to distinguish chronic stress. I will get irritability, anxiety, depression, headaches, and insomnia.
Madison Hendrickson: Everything feels heavy and my mind feels foggy/overwhelmed. I try to get outside and get some sun, go for a walk, turn on my favorite pump-up playlist, and journal.
This past year diversely impacted our lives and the things that initiate higher stress levels, from shifting work and education environments, to global pandemic anxiety. How has this year been different for you? What shifts have you personally noticed as to what causes stress in your life?
Tonya: I am already isolated (I live in a cabin in the woods), so my work environment shift I made before the pandemic. However, going out to eat once in a while or driving the 3–6 hours to visit friends and family once in a while was key to my outside connection. I had to find safe ways to still connect with people and I dove into my fiction writing as an escape.
Justine: This year has been extremely challenging for me with juggling multiple businesses, online school for my middle schoolers, a child with a learning disability, and 2 overseas moves in 90 days. As a result, I have had to take it day by day and take one thing on at a time. Otherwise, I get overwhelmed and that triggers my anxiety. Ways I manage that is extra sleep, really good nutrition, and trying to realistically manage my workload.
Nikki: For me, work has been a constant, so that has not changed. My stress and anxiety have SKYROCKETED surrounded the virus — from going out, getting things we need from stores, but especially connected to my husband’s place of work. The fact that I cannot control what other people do, thereby risking our health despite what precautions we take, has been really hard. I think it has shown a light on a lot of issues in our world today and for me, this was the hardest facet of 2020.
Khinna: When we moved, COVID-19 restrictions have been very strict since Spring 2020. The normal way of connecting to others isn’t allowed. I miss meeting people face-to-face. It’s not just the pandemic that has affected my overall wellbeing, but the issues surrounding systemic racism, injustice that has been going on is making my heart hurt. These issues are making me evaluate my personal experiences as a BIPOC of where I stand. It can be a lot to grapple with.
Madison: This year has been a challenge but I have often learned so much about myself. It has really forced me to turn inward and start working on things that I had put off. I started therapy, began healing, and really became aware of some negative thought patterns.
You participated in TPS Switch. How has this helped you address stress and create solid goals to feel more confident about your future?
Tonya: The greatest gift from TPS is that even without knowing the other participants personally, I am not alone. Someone else is out there experiencing the same burst of entrepreneurial motivation or seeking a reminder that no matter how far someone else is on this track, by lacing up my shoes and stepping foot on the pavement, I am also ahead of others. I can only compete with myself and my benchmarks and goals.
Justine: Being a part of the TPS community has helped me tremendously. To be quite honest, if it wasn’t for being the President of this company I would probably very often forget that I am not alone.
Nikki: Being a part of the team who built TPS from the ground up, I am inspired every day looking at this community — and our program brings out those stories even more. I am grateful to be shown what we are all capable of and the odds we face every day, yet we still overcome them and rise to the occasion!
Khinna: I am not alone. This community shares the highlights and the lowlights, it’s okay to be where you are, change happens in a mess, and we are all in this together.
Madison: The honest conversations and unwavering community has helped me have an outlet to really be honest with myself. It’s great to have somewhere to turn where I know that I can show up however I am that day and be supported.
At TPS we value Courage — we make brave and powerful decisions, and Compassion — we are empathetic and graceful. How are you working to be more courageous and compassionate to yourself and your well-being? Secondly, to others around you who are also managing new or heightened stressors?
Tonya: I make a lot of decisions and often that requires me to just have faith in the journey and my gut and hope things are well received. When it comes to others, I am trying extra hard to remind myself that people deal with stress in different ways. It can be frustrating as a type-A personality to shuffle a schedule several times, but last year I think I let go of a lot of my stress simply because I didn’t want to contribute to other people’s stress. I became very Semper Gumpy on just about everything with a timeline.
Justine: Due to the stress I have experienced this year I have had to double my mental health strategies and plans. I have had to seek more professional help and double my mindful practices. As a very hard-headed woman who really struggles with asking for help, this is my way of showing compassion for myself. I also believe that courage is contagious so I try to role model the actions I find helpful so others can find the courage to follow suit.
Nikki: I am saying NO more than ever before, to things that do not bring me joy or serve my wellbeing. As a people-pleaser in recovery, I would find it hard to turn down people who asked for help. Now, I am more empowered to put boundaries in place that protect myself and what work I find most valuable in my life at the moment. FOCUS!
Khinna: That I am inherently human and make mistakes. I’ve dwelled in the past on my own insecurities and lashed out at people as a result. It’s unsustainable to live this way. I’m in a chapter in my life where I must change the narrative about my life. If I take responsibility for my choices, I can experience more joy and calm, and purpose. I’m learning that I need to make different choices about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. This means trying new things, too. I started making art last year and I feel my life-transforming. I can’t prevent hard things but I can choose how I react to them. As Lisa Congdon says, “if you are not changing it, you are choosing it.” It’s important to take responsibility for my choices because it’s essential to my growth, happiness transformation.
Madison: I am being honest with myself about who I am. Realizing the person that I have been suppressing and encouraging the person I am becoming.
These shared experiences and raw conversations are always so humbling, but this one came at the right time. My stress has gotten the better of me on more than one occasion over the last 10 months. I began today frustrated, exhausted by the state of the world, and tired from the pain of my stress stuck in my muscles. I end it feeling seen by my community, knowing that I do not walk this journey alone. Now, for me, it’s time for a good long walk.
What about you?
