A Personal and Vulnerable Account of Parent Estrangement

I blocked my birth mother 3 years ago, let her back in recently, and I regret it

My parents on their wedding day but I don’t remember a time when they were married — Author’s photo

Something came across my feed last week that caused me to pause, research and ponder. The idea of parent estrangement isn’t anything new but the fact that it is popular now intrigued me to look further into it. The headline came at a time when I was at the same crossroads with my own parent.

Why are so many people experiencing parent estrangement?

Before the 2000s, feelings were swept under the rug in families. We didn’t talk about our mental health, instead we pretended terrible incidents were normal and moved along without discussing them. The family household meant business and you had your role. We all know how it went: the father worked while the woman was the homemaker. The kids went to school and got good grades, obeyed their parents' rules and if they didn’t, they would be grounded.

Children were taught to obey. If there was physical or mental abuse, many learned to tolerate it.

Even when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s, life felt more like business. We did the tasks placed in front of us, like school and work, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the family, moving forward without much emotion.